Richard Grannon's Courses & Sam Vaknin Beef

ChantalCEM

Deef he’s phrasing it as earning the right…

Yep. That's one of the major points I'm not able to get/understand. I'll let it sink in more & see what comes up.

Deef

Got this invasive word salad reply in response to pain point response earlier..

(These comments below are now deleted on the forum, most likely by the original poster, as I didn't reply to this nor the email reach word salad I shared later)

My first impulse is to just say... your lack of understanding is NOT my problem.
but lemme think about it some more.. and there's other more important things to work on...
(this is an example though, of how fragmentation bombs, straw man and word salad naturally catches my attention)

Deef

Deef Day 22 A philosophical exercise. Just explore it, there is no right or wrong.
Explore how we can feel the way we can earn the right to be our authentic selves.
Is it through disciplined, consistent, value oriented action over time?

My post with fresh visual:

is the visual too shaming??

ChantalCEM

Deef is the visual too shaming??

Not in my point of view - your choice of colours (blue naturally draws the attention - to a wishful goal) softens the message - excellent choice of words (like Self Leadership - the triad Dismiss-distract-disrespect - invade vs grounded)

Small side note fyi: RG posted a long video on the sad baby archetype. - No clue why he posted this one (this morning) without any reference to whatsoever.

Deef

ChantalCEM sad baby archetype

I recall he mentioned it close to the beginning of Q&A 3 session...
maybe from reading posts & questions... he thought that people were overlooking sad baby? or the course wasn't addressing grief enough..

Referenced video

CPTSR Thrivers: "Sad Baby" as an Abused Archetype (Supra State) of Stacked Emotional Flashbacks 42m
https://youtu.be/HKk2YjsAjus

Bradford

Deef My first impulse is to just say… your lack of understanding is NOT my problem.
but lemme think about it some more.. and there’s other more important things to work on…
(this is an example though, of how fragmentation bombs, straw man and word salad naturally catches my attention)

The invasive word salad response is dripping with victim narrative and collapse. This person has no sense of self and is looking for others to define them (BPD much?).

The "understanding" narrative is BS. Its more "Im a victim and no one understands me and it's not my fault" which, again sits in with BPD as the world is their self. The response has nothing to do with you - it's all about them.

Thanks for posting this.

ChantalCEM

Bradford

Felt sick & tired of a FN replying on the forum - "exposed" her in one of my comments by asking her why she needed to lean in ODV as I was curious to explore the subject. She replied with "being hurt". My reply: "seems you got into emo lit after all"
She's not been on the forum after that - we'll see if she returns

Bradford

ChantalCEM I feel like Im getting more out of the 30dc than some of the active participants. Im really seeing up close just how manipulative and disrespectful untreated codependents can be and how close they are to Cluster B's in that regard.

One of the ironies I was contemplating this morning was around "summoning the self". How can you do this, when you dont have a "self" or "self" is the world and everyone else?

ChantalCEM

Bradford “summoning the self”. How can you do this, when you dont have a “self” or “self” is the world and everyone else?

Good question.

I'm running into seeing codependents everywhere. I had that with narcs earlier on.
But back then I felt "superior" on those narcs.
Now I feel embarrassed - recognising I'm one of those codependents - pretty full blown as far as I can see it.
Speaking of learning a lesson in humility. Yep. I'll take it anyway.

Bradford

ChantalCEM Now I feel embarrassed - recognising I’m one of those codependents - pretty full blown as far as I can see it.
Speaking of learning a lesson in humility. Yep. I’ll take it anyway.

Same here! Im seeing more and more of my codependence. Humility is the cure.

"The Core emotion that makes the (Codependent) vulnerable to the Narcissist is Pride... Pride is a form of self deception...its a major blindspot...an exaggerated sense of self importance...

Pride is a defence against shame

The antidote to pride is humility

https://youtu.be/ClqzFTrUYFU?t=180

Abdul uses the term Empath - I would interchange this with Codependent.

Abdul Saad is based here in Sydney and I had 10 sessions with him and found him to be very good. Abdul is a clinical psychologist. This means that he is an MD (Doctor) as well as a psychologist which is 1 step from Psychiatrist in Australia.

ChantalCEM

Bradford Abdul Saad is based here in Sydney and I had 10 sessions with him and found him to be very good. Abdul is a clinical psychologist. This means that he is an MD (Doctor) as well as a psychologist which is 1 step from Psychiatrist in Australia

Watched some of his video's because RG pointed out Abdul Saad in one of his video's - found some useful information in AS video's

Pride.... mmmm... very interesting. Recall Deef pointing towards Pride too in one of his recent visuals.
Stuff for further research & inquiry. Thx!

Deef

Deef Got this invasive word salad reply in response to pain point response earlier..

More word salad, but this time in email ...... this feels a bit like Newbie, but probably is slightly different enough to be someone else??

Hey Visceral Gravitas,
~~XXXXXX~~ from the 30 Day challenge 2022: The Community Community wants to connect with you.

"Do you think I am a narcissist??? Or that I am accusing you or Richard of being one?? I’m trying so hard to understand but I don’t. I’m a 35 year old single mom VG 🤦🏼‍♀️ My 8 year old knows how to navigate YouTube on our tv better than I do. I have followed Richard and Sam and Pierre because I thought they were funny and I’ve followed a lot of psychology pages for quite a few years now because I’m just kind of a nerd about it and I found it interesting. I don’t know why anyone would even think I would want to bother any of you. I don’t know any of you. I didn’t think I was doing anything wrong by commenting and I never complimented anyone being fake. I’m too stupid to be fake, as you’ve seen. Maybe I’m a glutton for punishment 🤦🏼‍♀️ I really just followed because I saw it richards page after I had followed another page before and I liked that he taught a way to do self help work at Home. And when I saw him to videos with Pierre I just thought they were funny and it made me laugh when I was feeling pretty depressed. I saw him speaking with you and Sam too and I assumed you all at least got along ok if you weren’t friends and I just found your conversations and the things you guys discussed interesting so I followed because I’m not so much into soap operas kind of mom idk what to tell you I follow your channels because I thought they we’re interesting and at least useful 😩 I never in my life thought that anyone would accuse me of anything for following pages on YouTube or IG. I don’t know why you would you would even think I have some agenda to hurt your pages. God help me I stopped doing real estate because it’s too much for me and I’m not THAT extroverted. Whatever it is you think I was trying to do, idk what to tell you except that I definitely don’t wasn’t trying to hurt anyone 😔 VG my soul is tired. I’m just trying to survive. And I’m stupid sad baby yeah right now too because I was actually starting to feel better about doing richards 30 day program and that everything was ok. If I ever thought he really had in his mind I was trying to do something to him I wouldn’t have even joined. Sometimes my son is the only reason I don’t just give up VG. I don’t have any energy in my soul to go on some weird YouTube page path of destruction. I was just trying to feel better and get through this bullshit. So whatever I did or whatever anyone thought I did or was trying to do. I hope, I really do hope you realize you’re very mistaken. Because I wasn’t at all 😢"

I only glanced through the long run on paragraph....
it was sent around 1:30pm, so about 1.5 hours after I shared the clip, and about 2.5 hours after she posted the earlier word salad...

I haven't commented back to her in the forums yet, or I think ever... So dunno what's triggering her paranoia?

Enjoy the word salad, and if someone wants to break it down for me, go for it.. save me some energy...

Bradford

Deef To Quote Aniekan - "Thats not a word salad, its a word buffet"

There is also no punctuation - and lots of emojis. It has a "newbie" feel to it.

My only response to her would be "Grammar and punctuation are your friends"

Deef

Day 23 Exercises

Please go back to day 4 and share your 5 core values with the group.

In the same piece of work share two affirmations from the day 6 exercise.

Much easier day, will take way less time.
Please take the space to breathe, reflect and look at other peoples work in the group.

day 6 refresher -
Create 3 affirmations that are around the beliefs

"it is ok for me to assert my boundaries" and

"it is good for me to choose to no longer be in abusive relationships"

Scanning through NurtureShock earlier tonight and first chapter covers the territory of how excess affirmations is actually counter productive. It instills doubt, mistrust, and avoiding difficult situations..

I wonder if I could or should share aspects or insights from that chapter in the forum??
I've always been very skeptical of the self-esteem movement and all the empty validation and praise that's very mainstream now...

The Self Esteem movement is epitomized by Donald Trump 1m33s
https://youtu.be/9u32nkfFj-c

Unearned praise reinforces and enables Narcissists and encourages more asshole like disrespectful behavior from codependents.

ChantalCEM

Deef feels a bit like Newbie, but probably is slightly different

Seems similar energy but this one shares actual personal info (single mom - 8yo child)
Tons of fake apologising language similar to Newbie tough
Must be fun to get that dumped via email.

Buzz

Bradford
100% Agree! This makes you bullet proof to shame and consequently manipulation. Nothing can touch you if you own the fuck out of everything you’ve done (and do) and take 100% responsibility and ownership no matter how ugly. Anything else is just lipstick on a pig.

I disagree. You are going to make more of those this things you are calling mistakes.

Buzz

Deef

why does the meaning and purpose have to come from the outside, the world, other people? Isn’t it our response ability, to come up with life’s meaning and purpose, and live it ? One could argue that the world has always been ‘fucked up’, if you look at history from the perspective of the average joe, just like us? We all carve our own unique path, and have control over what we are thinking.

Buzz

Deef

language like this is so confusing and trying to understand it, I believe, is calling into the trap. A lot of projection, indirect accusation, calls for self pity and emotional blockage. It’s like they are spinning a verbal web of emotional bombs, trying to pull you in and trap you. Just my 2 cents.

Buzz

Deef
Scanning through NurtureShock earlier tonight and first chapter covers the territory of how excess affirmations is actually counter productive. It instills doubt, mistrust, and avoiding difficult situations..

I wonder if I could or should share aspects or insights from that chapter in the forum??
I’ve always been very skeptical of the self-esteem movement and all the empty validation and praise that’s very mainstream now…

Don’t they train people to ...?

I have found that they train people to praise them for the most meaningless thing.
Otherwise they try and fuck you up.

Fryek

Buzz, if you highlight the thing you're responding to, then select "quote" instead of simply replying... this way it provides context for your comments... as it stands, your string of comments above are somewhat difficult to put into context? One doesn't know (OK, I have no idea) what you're referring to in your comments just above?

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