Bradford to be like fingernails on a blackboard
delivery is off beam.
thats what I dont like
I wonder if this is from childhood pattern recognition?? Somehow they’re reminding you of an particular energetic frequency sensation that came before an emotional storm? It’s triggering a DANGER DANGER type inner signal?
I used to, and maybe still have an emotional trigger around ‘We Need to Talk’ delivered in a neutral tone with no context. It’s linked to childhood getting into trouble, or a hammer is about to come down on me. Often times it’s still linked to social sanction, but maybe 30-50%.
Back to the delivery signal trigger.
Lois, Vaknin & Dan Fox don’t seem like they’re trying to gaslight the audience, BUT they’re still using word salady twisting of language, to pull in and exhaust the audience’s attention. HOWEVER, that angle is assuming agency & self awareness and putting ourselves in victim framing. WHAT IF instead, they’re doing the word salad twisty delivery for THEIR OWN benefit, or for Lois & Fox, they’ve stepped on enough eggshells with clients, they’ve been trained & entrained by surprise BPD landmine rage outbursts, they’re tweaking their delivery on the FLY to both constantly prevent potential outburst but also to self soothe themselves as they sense they’re delivering potentially triggering content.
Oh… so another angle is that Lois & Fox have a very low grade extended anxiety underneath their words. They’re walking on egg shells because they’ve bought into the BPD’s internal (and genuine) worries of self harm/suicide, and have now trapped themselves into a language style in REACTION TO the emotional intensity of the BPD.
(This I’m against, because it’s letting crazy person lead, and in principle if you let crazy lead, everyone loses.)
So… Back to twisting words and word salad.
Maybe both NPD & BPD use word salad - and word salad is just a neutral communication technique.
- NPD use it more for DISSOCIATION and goal oriented, to paint a picture of competence or to sell a lie.
- BPD use it more to BLOCK REALITY (red herring?) like trying to diffuse emotional intensity, cling to hope, or limit responsibility/ownership (shame)
Codependents also can use it, to cling to shared fantasy, to block feedback, etc.
BUT the new angle & twist! is to use word salad against the BPD, take their strength and turn it into their weakness by using it against them. But I don’t think you need to use that sugary hope formula of Dan Fox, nor do you need to use Lois’ extended dull flat tone.
I think you could use dramatic flair, but maybe a more horror type edge of your seat, monster is around the corner type flavor? Along with some sort of carrot type attention hook?
Still working on this immense mental puzzle… getting closer, but who knows.?
Conversational hypnosis has also reversed engineered a lot of these communication hacks.
This confusion technique seems like it’s same territory of word salad, twisting words.