YouTube comments tracker - orig RG Live 4/17/21 promo

Deef

This back and forth from a 2 month old clip of Pierre addressing the end of TC escalated quick, but amazing in how pure infantile or childhood bullying tactics he resorted to?
It’s like just a shouting match of his reality, while plugging his ears.

Challenge him for a counter argument or evidence for his just doubt.

This stonewall of 'You’re arguing, NOT ME," then his misread of where he’s putting the comments, was just shocking due to the confusion. Then when challenged he starts slinging insults and direct threats? wow..

This came at me stonewall is fascinating, is it a BDP double bind territory, projecting his behavior onto me, while also morally judging me for behavior he’s doing.

There’s a 3rd comment that I didn’t capture, it sometimes doesn’t show up, but here’s the text:

@chongxina8288 19 hours ago (edited)
@VisceralGravitas
If you want to delete my comments that will be most welcome.
Because then you’ll get off my case. Or you can argue with yourself for all I care. Take it as a W if you really want to, you seem to really want to, I wasn’t arguing with you anyway.
You’ve caused it. Fck do I care? I didn’t even start out with a point to argue with! I simply shared thoughts.
Fcks wrong with you.

This is pretty extreme regression… I’m a bad parent, authority figure or something??
Then more delusion that he’s got no agency of causing it, but claims total agency to make it end by tantruming?
The fake claims of not caring, is obviously contradicts his behavior and investment with continued comments and demands.

The 🤫

is an interesting reply, is this admission of his tactic.. he’s aware of it? but can’t help it? Or he doesn’t care that it’s infantile or petty?

I’ll take this as evidence that he’s not sincere, and doesn’t care. But it’s also this is his/her only way to connect to others. Vulnerability and building a bridge is too exposing, scary and beyond his skillset.

I’m guessing his original post was defending RG, which leans him towards using RG as a parasocial relationship to regulate his emotions. While doing none of the work, or just doing it RG style to create fake sense of healing and growth. But it doesn’t stick, as evidenced here. Also he probably likes bullying other people, it makes him feel powerful and excited. Gives a bit of an escape form his inner hell of self-hate and toxic endless shame.

Deef

I think these are generally positive comments for Thursday’s YT premiere live watch video… on rewatch I thought it was a bit too dense and heavy for newbies to consume or make sense of.

Deef

The comments are now deleted, but this is a first, this was a critique about the korean ASMR cat massage videos:

I couldn’t tell if the first comment was serious, but this additional comment seems to be sharing her offense, since that video was from afterparty, and some of the cat-asmr Deef 2 screen was showing. The cat looking super passive, maybe could’ve been perceived as un-natural, possibly drugged, or abused by it’s owner….

interesting reaction…

Is our group sanctioning small animal abuse, by playing those videos? Would the videos of cute hamsters doing tricks also be considered manipulative too?

Elven

Deef That hilairiious, I saw the outrage first comment too and thought it was just a joke… I’ll have my sisters cats on zoom and Show how chilled out cats can be 😅Tinkerbell would absolutely be that chill in the right mood.

Suze

Deef

Suze

Elven Yeah, cats are going to let people know if they don’t like something, duh! Is Tinkerbell the white one? I think I remember your bunnies being black and white too? Animals know good hearts, idk if I could stand the screaming geckos but it’s the thought that counts, glad to see you settling into more peaceful surroundings with your new furry guardians.

mariad

They are totally drugged and it is 100% okay to keep posting it along side our meet ups without any shadow of any doubt. And obviously it is only about devious manipulation

Deef

Kudos to SpiritNarc Tess for sharing her therapy sessions….

My critique of her therapist getting triggered and defending himself & his ego.
Then she ends up taking the blame for being triggered and being wrong… UGH!

49m12s (alternate copy as Tess removed original version due to Therapist complaint)

Follow-up video after Tess calls out the therapist:

6m53s

Deef

YT comments has been a bit quiet, and maybe I’ve got a bit too far that YT censorship could jump in….
Choking on your own puke, that’s NOT a direct threat, but it is a bit of an insult….

Will this person escalate more, or continue denial/monologue stonewalls?

From this Dr Ramani case study part 2 video link

ohhh…. and I watched The Nameless Narcissist’s livestream earlier where Jacob got a bit triggered by his room-mate being too close and making noise…. so I could’ve merged some with his murderous rage impulses….. so I can blame him (or give him credit) for my slightly more aggressive comment reply….

opps… looks like YT censor deleted that post? or a complaint….

ok… a 2nd attempt, with more my style.. using pity instead of violence…

Kelly

Deef

If only the YT comments could contain tone as well as the message content. I appreciate your efforts to encapsulate both while simultaneously trying to evade the YT ( algorithmic / human ) sensors. The metaphysical slap you deliver is always music to my ears and keeps me on course. The slap woke me up. At that point of desperation, I needed so desperately to have been woken up. Thank you for waking me up!

Deef

Deef ok… a 2nd attempt, with more my style.. using pity instead of violence…

took 3-4 days and she changes her tune and starts defending herself…

The final thing, that I didn’t change her beliefs… well duh…. my making an argument to a general audience, is not designed to change every single person’s mind… that’s a ridiculous goal…

oh… she’s moving the goal posts, equating the video as a failure cuz it didn’t change her belief…

my reply

Deef

Another Dr Ramani case study comment troll, but this one for the 1st video while last one was 2nd one..

I’m a bit sloppy in my counters, just going with what comes to my mind first.

Oh… I did reply back to Bunicata6881 too… I’ll edit the prior post with my reply

ICS

Deef Dr Ramani case study comment troll, but this one for the 1st video

Probably this is some co-dependent idea.
Would a “troll” (not even sure what i is jump in the comment section if you would have used other words to describe the emotional reactions that the woman in the video shows?
Like for example saying “well here she is feeling insecure and vulnerable” instead of saying “fragile narc”?

I watched your edits and the full interview.

In the comments is said that it is unfair to cut and edit. Well I don’t see why that would be so.
In general interviews are cut and edited already.
In this kind of interviews very often the camera films first only all the answers that the guest is giving. Later on the camera is pointed on the interviewer and he will ask all the questions again. But there is no need anymore for the person who was interviewed to answer them again.
To make it all look like real they add some shots where both people are in the picture.
And afterwards everything is edited into a something that is “watchable”.
So the damage is already done before you edited on your behalf for the purpose of your zoom.

Whet it comes to the body language the complete video doesn’t bring her in a more positive or advantaged position.

Several times she goes with her hands trough her hair. Where I live it is seen as a “grooming” gesture. Maybe it is different in the US.
Why would one make grooming gestures in an interview?
Maybe it is a conditioned response from the moment she feels vulnerable?
She wasn’t at ease that is clear.
Maybe her “grooming” posture is part of a fawn response?

And another question pops up.
If you don’t feel at ease near someone does it always means that you are a fragile narcissist?
Or does it depend on how you react to it?

How we react or respond can be influenced by previous situations as well.

When I have to hurry myself to arrive in time somewhere…I already feel anxious. My response to a neutral question in the 20 minutes right after the rush can be very different than if the same question is asked 2 hours after arrival…as two hours later calmness is restored….

Whatever it is that drives Dr. Ramani I don’t think she needs anyone to defend her. Nor do I see a reason to attack Deef when he uses parts and bits in the zooms.

Deef

A recent blip of YT comment troll, I’m a bit rusty and out of practice… but caught on a little better w/ the 2nd comment…

This was about Dr Ramani case study part 2, which was more of an offshoot of Will Smith case study right after the Oscars slap.

Notice he/she isn’t addressing Will Smith or any other particulars of that context.

The reframe of copy/paste is a clever way of dismissing her attack the messenger and not the message call out, counter and challenge. Because she has much much much less ground to stand on, if arguing the message.

But in a sense, my argument about making a lazy argument is also calling out her sandbox jump.

She did bite with saying her evidence is that she’s been abused, and Ramani helped her.
But that’s not evidence to challenge the points discussed in the video…

I wrote out the reply with only a glance of her comment, though I did digest it somewhat. As my knee jerk impulse was to counter her attacks point by point… I suppose cuz moral outrage doesn’t feel fair to be on the receiving end… BUT that’s also a lose, as I jump into her context…

Instead, I try to circle back to themes in the video, and mostly ignore her reframing or attempt to spotlight me as less than perfect…..

though on the edits of the screen caps…. she was throwing digs at me for NOT living what I preach, which is a bit nerving to me…. from multiple levels… I don’t think I’m preaching on videos, as I particularly try NOT to do super-ego injunctions…. though yes, there is a message and certain themes being promoted….

On the flip side, her challenge of my consistency… uhm.. well, look at this thread.. I think it’s pretty consistent that I’m promoting aggressive posture with YT comment trolls…. and unfair criticism…. and my last post was a 3rd one to her, with gradual escalation… So I am leaving room for people to offer proof against my counters/call outs….

But… YT comments are still tough… it feels more intimate and exposed than it really is… no one in the public is going to read a distorted slander attack and consider it as serious shade or what not… especially with majority of other comments neutral, getting the video and encouraging….

however.. the comments come in like a direct message.. in the notification.. so it feels much more exposed and highlighted than it actually is….. tsk tskk..

Suze

Deef Idk where the preaching impression comes from… you always ensure there’s a mote to allow/facilitate self-inquiry/reflection/I DID IT(s) If anything, you’re like the observer in the blind spot trying to get us into that focused, meditative space. A “pull our awareness together” thing. I think I’ve even noticed you on a few occasions upholding a respectful distance even though the tension was… well, would have pulled others along with it. Can’t be easy.

EDIT of course to a codependent like myself, this also seems like a superpower, facepalm.

ICS

Deef she was throwing digs at me for NOT living what I preach, which is a bit nerving to me…. from multiple levels… I don’t think I’m preaching on videos, as I particularly try NOT to do super-ego injunctions

I haven’t watched all the video’s yet. But so far it doesn’t seem to me that you preach. You promote indeed indeed to learn how to feel emotions and work with them, to be, to do. You offer a broad range of models as some sort of levers that I can use to pull myself up and stand on my own legs…and exercises to make those legs stronger…a place of containment for those moments that I fall…

Did you find an answer to why those comments made you nervous?
Could it be that you put a lot of effort in responding and that maybe it isn’t a priority? for example?
I just try to exercise the questions that might be useful if I stumble into a nervous feeling tomorrow.

Deef

Dr K video commentary…

Western therapy mindset vs. Collective mindset, shame culture & infinite mystery paradox.

My spur of the moment comments while listening to it this morning:

Now, what triggered Dr K’s counter transference? And is the sell he’s making that performance and emotions shouldn’t be so hard linked, all good or is there also downsides to this divorcing of emotions from results??

Part of that, I’d argue is evidenced by his extreme discomfort with just letting Jinnytty be her anxious, robotic, performative, stressed out self….

I’d argue that Dr. K has lost his own fucking boundaries, by imposing his cultural norms and value systems on top of Jinnytty. And probably doing a good amount of it, due to his own insecurities, and personal agenda of how the world should be, what ideal mental health is, how much personal harm he got from collectivist boundary crossing parents, etc. etc…

And essentially the posturing battle, ended up with Jinnytty just saying what Dr K wanted to hear, and people pleasing him. Instead of personally owning more agency in her life.

Granted he is seeing and pointing out things that she’s frustrated about, but my initial reaction is more around his style and delivery is more about convincing and forcing/imposing/policing thoughts and worldview onto her. Which likely will do the opposite of his goals.

This is the territory of imposing a super-ego inner conscience into her, with him totally unaware of the extent of how much cultural morality and values he’s running over.

ICS

I had to watch the full interview a second time.
As there were a few more rather strange things than only the grooming gestures.

A few times she starts to speak very fast. Difficult to understand for me. To me it sounded similar to how Lee Hammock speaks in a video shown on this platform.
I have to admit that for both when they start to speak at that speed my attention fades…Like “if it would be really important to you that other people understand what you are saying….you would speak at another pace”….So it seems that I have some conditioned response as well. To fade out when people start to speak to fast. Like my brain tells me…"the content in this high speed spoken word…you"d better not try to process it..it’ll get you no where".
I haven’t noticed this earlier…that this happens to me.
I am going to pay attention to it if this happens too when people do this when they speak my mother tongue

I must say that the interviewer is a smart but weird as well.
Asking first on how she knows that she isn’t a narcissist.
Her answer has pretty much the style of “oh I am not like that at all”.
Later on when he asks her if she thinks that he is one.
She answers “you re too reflective and to concerned about it”…than there is an intermezzo…followed by “once you have an awareness you are in a better position”. “If you are like oh i am not like that at all then you lack insight”.

In this order a viewer could think that this Andrew guy has insight. And that she hasn’t as her answer was precisely
saying that she is not at all like that. So he corners her and shows that she hasn’t any insight herself based on her own answers. So in fact he reads her better than she reads him…and get answers out of her that will do make her look bad.

Somewhere in the interview he says “but I want something from you”…
The way he says it speaks. But she doesn’t seem to notice it. And he got to what he wanted some sort of “confession”. But as on youtube so many video’s are uploaded each day…the chance that one would see it would be rather small…Except for Deef…

And she has blind spots….why did she wanted to be interviewed by this person in the first place?
Did she fall for his “shy awkwardness” that she claims and seem to believe are like “good sings”?
Overly shy cold and distant…may have another label than narcissism in the DSM5 …? I don’t know…never read those writings….It doesn’t mean that someone who shows these traits is gonna be a good friend or partner…
I think it is very simplistic to believe that.

I didn’t know she wrote a book.
The interviewer shows it at the beginning. The title “ Don’t you know who I am”.
So clever.
He laughs that she doesn’t know who he is.
And molds the interview into showing the spectators that she doesn’t know who she is. Even not when she spent a whole book on it.
He mocks her….that is what is happy about…He knows where he will take her too.

ICS

ICS So it seems that I have some conditioned response as well. To fade out when people start to speak to fast. Like my brain tells me…"the content in this high speed spoken word…you"d better not try to process it..it’ll get you no where".
I haven’t noticed this earlier…that this happens to me.
I am going to pay attention to it if this happens too when people do this when they speak my mother tongue

Well it seems that it happens too when the spoken word is in my native language.
I had it recently.
Arriving at home, took the elevator to the floor where I live….step out of the elevator and all of a sudden my neighbor who lives on the same floor opens the door of her flat and starts talking out of the blue very fast, even out of control.
So she didn’t even greet me.
The speed is really to high for my brain to distinguish the words….so it fades out till she stops speaking.
It is really something in my brain that can’t process that fast.
It doesn’t happen that much. I don’t encounter that often people that start speaking very fast in real life. So that must be the reason that I wasn’t that much aware of my brains response on it.
It depends on who is speaking situation and relation…Most of the time I will ask the person to please repeat and honestly admit that I didn’t understand what they were saying…. I really must have been thinking that it was a problem with the volume of the speech.
In some cases people don’t want to repeat at all
So in the cases that people did repeat…
1) Same speed….I still didn’t get it the second time. And the majority of the cases people don’t want to repeat it a third time.
2) Lower speed after taking a breath…I did understand them correct, and the speed was caused by a stressful event that had happened earlier that day. But I could make sense of what they wanted to share with me.

As I do have some audio problems since I have worked for years in noisy engine rooms….I really believed that, me not catching what people are saying was mainly caused by some sort of deafness.
And it is maybe also a part of it. Cause when people talk very fast, they don’t pronounce and articulate clear…where it becomes difficult to read the mouth. Any person who has hearing problems starts to read lips.

This would mean that it never happened before the damage on my ears?
Soon a memory comes up. I once had a teacher in mathematics who used to speak very fast as well. In his classes I also asked often to repeat. My ears were functioning well. My brain simply can’t digest a lot of words in a short time.
Glad that he was a teacher in math and not in languages….;-)

Is it an anomaly? Is this a form of dissociation? I don’t know.
Maybe it is just that when someone speaks to fast, I can’t connect their words with their non verbals? And that it gets impossible to really understand what they are talking about.
So maybe somewhere earlier in life my brain chose then to leave out the words and just register the non verbal part?

Deef

YT comments have been quiet for a while, there’s still occasional attacks and nonsense.. but not much notable…

this video clip
8m06s

offered this interesting observation & compliment!

But, after addressing his/her question, more vague pleas for help and spoon feeding came… that’s somewhat disappointing….

but I did enjoy this description of their’s:

This seems like an underground, hardcore, HELLA advanced personal development community.

Let’s continue to live up to this reputation?

Nabeel_319

Deef fight club

Deef

Deef vague pleas for help and spoon feeding came… that’s somewhat disappointing….

Turns out calling out his spoon feeding requests, revealed his character:

He’s essentially asking for material he can digest as dominant frame self-brainwashing. Of schizoid rabbit hole clueless baby flavor. Start with a simple concept, then build sloppy associations after, then come to some super confident conclusion.

I tried to label the underlying goals as looking for some magic shortcut… labelled it with intellectualization..
which he dodged with a sandbox jump to give me a petty neg hit, to get a cheap meaningless win…

Shortly after that last post, this new Cicero_123 account posts like 15 minutes later
(the timestamps are off because I took the earlier screen caps a day later)

This new YT account obsesses over intellectualization label, like it’s a box i’m trapping a schizoid in…. the odds of some random new person reading it is very tiny…. most likely it’s the Kriaskos who got triggered and switched accounts…

He then delivers the style of what he wanted from me… start simple, then link things with schizoid certainty and sloppiness… flooding noise and confusion….

I take a gamble and try out the misdefine game a guess from a hunch, which ends up being close to the mark..

He takes the bait, revealing his likely familiarity or knowledge of his own schizoid traits…

and I run with that, and likely over-exposed him… as there’s no more replies…

Deef

This is going no where now…. he’s stonewalling behind distortions…

1) reframes to ‘hidden gem’…. and totally doesn’t mention this part

Deef This seems like an underground, hardcore, HELLA advanced personal development community.

It would make him look like a fucking stupid idiot… to be championing fragile hurt victims from me….. while also describing the group as hardcore & HELLA advanced…

So misdfine what he said, and blame me that I got it wrong….

2) soft version of DARVO, variation of tone policing, trigger self-doubt
the common imposed niceness, to try to trigger some self hatred in the target

that’s translated to say you should hate yourself
you’re directing your aggression inward towards yourself
they’re promoting shame and self-hate,
in this coded language of saying
“oh why are you triggered? what’s wrong with you?”

3) opps.. this is more tone policing.. but also memory disorder….

Deef But, after addressing his/her question, more vague pleas for help and spoon feeding came… that’s somewhat disappointing….

I offered 4 suggestions very politely…. of which he started being disrespectful and impolite…
but it’s easy to forget his asshole entitled behavior..

4) Moral high ground plea, along with thought disorder…. likely didn’t watch the video, and is getting attacks on Nabeel in the video.. and attacks on Cicero_123 (who he claims to not be)… mixed up with him…

Interlaced is super-ego injunctions trying to shame me into compliance. of which seems to be terrified of acted out aggression…. in your face stuff…. though he seems quite fine in replying back under threat.. so part of him enjoys this schizoid territory murderous rage….

In the YT comment, I circle back to the main point….. don’t follow the sandbox jumps….

Addressing them in here, is probably a mistake, giving his defenses fuel….

ohhhh….

in point #3 clear boundary confusion and violation…

I judged from what I saw on your forum that your behavior was rude …

He is policing the norms and rules of behavior on MY FORUM????
uhm… stay in your lane dude….
Why would someone give up their moral definitions of their community, to some random stranger on the internet?

As Davanloo shared, disrespect is a malevolent defense….. being an asshole triggers people, including me..

3m51s

Davanloo used to call this a malevolent defense
he never wrote about this,
this defense destroys any relationship and any therapy

so you could say
notice how you just devalued me
and that devaluation would destroy any relationship
this is unacceptable
I’m your therapist I’m not your toilet
and if this therapy is going to continue
you will have to stop your devaluation of me
this is profoundly destructive in any relationship with any person
so what are you going to do about this devaluing attitude that you’re taking here?

When you have a big problem it requires a big intervention.
When there’s such an incredible expression of hatred
You must meet that hatred with equal strength
That lets him know you mean business

Unfortunately youtube comments and online communities, it’s harder to apply this stance, cuz people hide in the shadows, and can continue sabotage, rebellion, disrespect, passive-aggressive denial tactics; for artificial connection… and cheap meaningless wins…

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