For some reason I see a lot of parallels with Gabriel’s tactics that mirror Rachel… and this clip summarizes or captures the essence of the entitlement and confusion because of her exaggerated hurt claims…
Rachel feels Attacked 1/14/22 3m57s
R- so i’m trying to deal with this narcissistic abuse from my sister and the biggest thing she told me
or the biggest lie was that i was a selfish person you know
that i was like an unemotional cold selfish self-absorbed person who only focuses on themselves
and that was like you know
the worst thing for me to hear because i based my personality or whatever
i really thought i was a good friend like that was like my main thing perhaps
like i’m a good friend, i’m a good person
Rachel claims to receive narcissistic abuse from her sister, of which the WORST abuse she describes is her sister thinks she’s a bad person… and self absorbed…… uhm… that’s not enough alone to qualify for abuse… where’s the gaslighting, stolen money, reactive abuse in front of others, heart crushed, living a life for dozens of years, etc??
R- How do I? What do i do, now? Now that i’m sort of coming out of the the fog, perhaps …
i don’t know, like, if the narcissist told you, oh you know,
it’s too unsafe to drive somewhere and then you drive somewhere and sort of prove to yourself that they were wrong! is that sort of you know
so i guess i need to … I don’t know, what? Like reach out????
I don’t even know what to do …
This is a fake question… it’s leading that she wants someone to just say don’t reach out… she’s wrong, you’re right…
but that weird thing about needing to prove the narcissist wrong, was kinda weird..
D- Why does it bother you? What she said?
R- it was just incredibly hurtful, i mean that: I lack self-awareness!!?
Like i thought i was a good person! I thought i was a loving friend!
D- so you believe her opinion more than your opinion?
R- well, i mean come on, it was sociopathic abuse, you know,
so, it was my older sister, well i shouldn’t have to defend myself
Didn’t Gabriel also refer to his abusers as sociopaths too?? When Narcissist smear isn’t good enough, throw in sociopathic!!
D- yeah well her opinion was designed to try to trigger a wound, and it did?? (head nod)
R- right, so anyway so my question is
D- right now, you want to prove her wrong to cover up that wound, i would say
I’m too direct here, but it’s because this was at the very end of the meeting and we’re supposed to be closing up, and Rachel said she would be quick..
R- no i was trying to say, never mind, i guess i shouldn’t have asked, thats….
i’m sorry you’re not being helpful to me, right now,
I sort of feel like i don’t know what
like you’re kind of uh attacking me
H- well i think he’s asking you what is more important to you her opinion of you or your opinion of you
R- i’m not going to answer that question, i was just sort of thinking of like …
D- She was just thinking out loud and on this i misread that was a question seeking other opinions, so my bad
I notice she’s playing victim card, so I’m now retreating, but Holly thinks it’s time to dig in more??
R- Well i was sort of thinking of like, actual, instead of, sort of getting into, instead of like thought-based stuff, like actual, um, well, just sort of like, i guess what Holly was saying, like …
H- Some kind of defense with her? That’s a defense you’re not going to win that with a narc, right?
R- No, i’m not talking to her at all i’m like i’m no contact
i was saying like, just to myself, some sort of healing, like what would be healing? to be um I dunno
Healing is her code for empty validation, non-sense cheerleading and super-ego injunctions…
H- talk to yourself, richard grannon would say have a conversation with yourself
so you have an introject from your narcissist in your head
how do you get rid of that? you replace it with your own thoughts
A- i am strong, my opinion counts, i am louder in my own head than anyone else
i am louder in my own head than anyone else
i own what i think i own what i do and i’m going forward and i’m gonna have a good life
what anybody else says they’re entitled to their opinion
but as for me in my house i’m gonna have a party
J- okay we’re gonna end on that note okay we’re gonna end of that note
A- i am louder in my own head than anyone else
And she didn’t come back to any future book group meetings…