Case studies - News, Current Events, Sports

Deef

Case study of Trump self gas lighting, trying to use urgency, threats, guilt trips, to change reality. Along with incoherent word salad.

I would’ve preferred more direct quotes from the recording, but behavior traits described match npd who’s desperate.

Deef

This from yesterday’s Washington post style section, titled:
An oral history of 2020, as told by therapists - link to full article here

I still need to get around to reviewing my own 2020 journey, high points, low points, changes, etc. But this is pretty good. It’s quite a journey to see long drag on and continued drag since March to December…

But it offers a bit of validation for me, cuz I’ve been personally struggling through the time warp distortion, along with feeling the group mood of other’s struggling. BUT so many people talk and act like they’re holding up quite well, and doing quite fine, and not mentally breaking down.. That caused some cognitive dissonance between my sensations and trying to give other’s the benefit of the doubt.

I also sensed holidays and new years were challenging for people, but same issue of few people sharing and owning it publicly. At least this article shows evidence that therapists are fully booked and hearing behind the scenes struggles of what’s going on.

Fascinating to read about these sex pods… reminds me of an early in covid SNL skit where women were really lowering their dating standards just to get some physical touch.. lol

I also noted the change with election news coverage, and then the post election limbo… which were still sort of in, along with added stress of holiday season and people trying to navigate new year rituals of fresh start, resolutions, goals, etc.

Deef

And even a diagnosed sociopath can struggle with holiday emotions…
excerpts from: http://www.sociopathworld.com/2020/12/christmas-feelings.html

here’s one who is developing some level of emotional awareness:

In the past couple years I’ve finally been able to identify and contextualize my feelings. I call it a sort of emotional puberty because emotions that other people have learned to understand and cope with, I’m still a little shaky at.

She’s still at very basic levels of emotional literacy of her inner world.

This morning I really felt the truth of it.
My family is musical and I have over a dozen nephews and nieces who also have various musical talents. My sister suggested we do a family music album for my mother for Christmas. All my nieces and nephews did a song that my brother lovingly collected, spliced, and mixed for the past month.
I even for the first time in over a decade downloaded some recording software, set up a mixer, bought an xlr to usb cord and did hours of recording for just 6 minutes of album time.

Very impressive combined family labor of love.. hours of work for 6 mins end result

The family had been hyped about this for a couple months and the plan, at least as I heard it from others, was to watch her open and listen via zoom, which would also be our family Christmas zoom time.
One sibling had done nothing for the album but burn the cd, but was also the first one there at my parents’ house Christmas morning and had my mother open it and listen to it without us in true Leroy Jenkins fashion.
I woke up to seeing posts in the family chat, etc. about how much she liked it, but I didn’t want to see posts, I wanted to experience it with her.

The disappointment trigger: one sibling shared the gift and got to see first reaction all to himself…

My feelings were at first surprise, then confusion, then anger, which I didn’t want to be the dominant feeling of my Christmas.
On the one hand if I had anger and disappointment then I wanted to feel it and not sweep it away into the land of resentment,

but I didn’t understand why I was as angry as I was.

I texted my brother and told him that I was 3/10 sad about him not waiting for us.
He said he was sorry and he hadn’t understood that was the plan.
I had in my mind a bunch of rejoinders, like he would have known that was the plan, if he had bothered to participate and read the family group messages, and/or use a little common sense
(what person gives a gift to a person that they themselves didn’t buy or make?).

Good for her to bring up the issue with the person at fault.. but slowly recognizing that ‘the plan’ was assumed and this brother had different plan or thoughts. Not her judgment on her brother’s different belief system.

I did explain to him directly that people who contributed had wanted and expected a listen party.

But as I was typing more to him I realized that probably no one said that explicitly to him because he was out of the loop about most of it.
And we have a little rule in my family that ### people cannot be held accountable for others’ unexpressed expectations.

Nice family rule here..
Dunno if it would work with Narcissists or people good at blame shifting and gas lighting. But nice ideal.

So I found myself apologizing to him for getting upset about an unmet expectation I had, but had never expressed, and said that it was unfair to him that I left that expectation unclear but was still upset with him about it.
And after I sent the text, I found that my anger had been released and I cried just a little bit with a sense of loss for what I had been anticipating most about Christmas this year.
And it didn’t feel good, but it felt much better than relying on the anger to shield me from those feelings of sadness.

Yay…. she worked through her anger, and got to the sadness…. and didn’t fall into trap of resentment..

Sociopaths can do emotional literacy, so maybe codependents can too?

Deef

Not that much new, but maybe more mindfuck, from today’s post.

A quote from 2nd half that caught my attention:

Policy doesn’t animate him. Revenge animates him.

Narcissistic injury triggers rage and vengeance drive. It’s all a power play and only a power play and center of attention grab.

Long term he could spin the loss to new role, but he can only think immediate short term urgency.

Deef

This might be the bigger story, twitter is likely the medium that enabled Trump’s delusions and also stirred up his distortions.

Also it infected journalists, biasing for latest dish but then overlooking broader context and searching for the real story.

Twitter might be like crack or meth level narcissistic supply, super addictive and soul draining.

Deef

Been catching up on news of last week’s Capitol riots. Some articles that caught my attention.

This one, I’d argue shows that America has lost the war against terrorism, it instead did security theater to create an illusion of safety, which is now backfiring cuz all those defenses and money wasted doesn’t protect against mass protests, riots, and mob mentality.

This is pretty graphic to read what it was like for capitol police getting over-run by the mob… they had 1400 officers and still got over-run?? That’s either stupid coordination and management… or were they really that out numbered?? Why not just shoot some of the protestors?? Were they really that outnumbered?
There also could’ve been confusion, they didn’t know how to fight against white protestors…
But my theory is that it was just ignorance, they hadn’t trained for that level of mob protest for the capitol… better trained for small groups or individuals..

This is from an embedded journalist’s point of view… this shows how much collective rage and fury that was in the 8000 person crowd… and her reactions are genuine description of someone who’s really outnumbered and surrounded…
I’ve been surrounded, outnumbered, cornered and trapped in a room… yes it’s pretty darn terrifying and traumatizing..

Deef

Prior ones covered the on the ground environment and mood. These explore Trump.

Congress members couldn’t reach Trump… Wouldn’t that be called healthy boundaries and good no contact by Trump??
But see how self-centered and irresponsible just doing No Contact is?

This frozen response while watching live TV, reminds me of President Bush when he got told about 9/11 while he was reading to school children… a sorta dazed wtf type reaction…. this is probably a normal trauma response.. you’re stuck in orientation and freeze response, just taking in WTF is happening… and live TV of a huge angry mob breaking into the Capitol, that’s gotta be pretty darn gripping…

Then it’s his followers joining in his cause so that adds to his grandiosity, along with his greatest victim narrative. His supply (his followers) are actually in control though, as he will change and keep saying stuff that gets a good reaction out of him… it’s a symbiotic relationship.

When there’s a call to action, he froze and choked.
Playing greatest victim, you throw a rage tantrum, blame anyone and everyone, then wait for big mommy or someone else to be the responsible one. Or you throw tantrum, in order to get attention and care from others.

Wimpy congressmen willing to compromise their votes in the face of mob attack…
Trump doing perfect No contact both literally but also psychologically by being dissociated and distracted.
Eventually it ends with containment, they retake the capitol… only took 6 hours… lol

After the riots, he goes back on script, shifting blame, and Tim Obrien’s breakdown of his MO….
1- Lie
2- Bulldoze
and not feel guilt or remorse, means no change, no learning no growth. He just gets better at the 1-2 punch of Lie, and Bulldoze over others.

Deef

Something different than just more articles on Trump’s typical narcissistic behavior patterns..

This goes into a little bit of a tactical analysis of Eugene Goodman’s maneuver warfare strategies when it looks like he’s outnumbered by the mob…

(BUT…. there’s someone who’s using cell phone to video this, and in later footage when there’s police backup, you see photographer’s behind the cops)

So a lot of this is playing to the camera.. protest theater?? Which actually probably gives an edge to the protesters, as they want to go viral and support their cause. While the police are worried about doing something that can be misperceived on camera, so they probably might second guess themselves more.

Highlights from reading this morning…
3 tactical moves

Leading rioters away (guiding the opponents attention, and moving when in a weak position)
coordinating for backup (planning ahead)
exercising extreme restraint (disarm, neutralize, stall when outnumbered)

This isn’t really a giant heroic effort… it’s positioning, understanding your environment, and moving in space to out maneuver your opponent… same dynamics work in boxing with footwork, angles and jabbing…

Granted it might be a skill that most police aren’t that skilled at, because they’re used to overwhelming force and lots of backup. But military warfare should train for out numbered situations, or surprise attacks, etc.

This is one of the better more neutral videos.. I tried to find one that was just the video without any commentary, then looked at some news station’s versions.. and WOW… talk about adding a storyline on top of things.. black police officer, all by himself, with mob of angry white supremacists’ with all sorts of flags and symbols of hate.. Look how heroic he is.. he must have been so scared… wtf… that is fucking dramatized propaganda by national news tv stations…

2m04s

Deef

20 years of Wikipedia is a bit inspiring, a modern form of truth discovery and sharing with open community involvement.

Love the simple principles and value system holding it together.

Deef

Nice framing of positive sum vs zero sum mentality to describe current social decline.
From George Will opinion piece.

Postmodernists say, with Nietzsche, that there are no facts, only interpretations — alternative “narratives” about reality. As Andrew Sullivan writes at Substack, to be “woke” is to be awake to this: All claims of disinterestedness, objectivity and universality are bogus. So, reasoning is specious, and attempts at persuasion are pointless. Hence, society is an arena of willfulness where all disagreements are power struggles among identity groups. The concept of the individual disappears as identity becomes fluid, deriving from group membership. Silence is violence; what is spoken is mandatory and must accord with the mentality of the listeners. Welcome to campus.

Divide and conquer, drives people more zero sum primitive survival, while teamwork and community participation shows positive sum potential of humanity.

Deef

This mass unprocessed covid grief is hard to capture and put into words. It’s the slowness part of it and that abstract impersonal empty absence feelings that’s increasing, or becoming more the norm.
Maybe like an addict’s emotional numbness?

Even if you aren’t seeing it or know people personally, it’s happening to our collective. And bleeding into other domains, coming out sideways.

Mark smith describes his recent lostness, maybe symbolic of what many others are struggling with but have it better contained.
26m27s

Not the exact same thread on the surface, but underlying it’s similar territory…
Sam Vaknin talking about empty space, absence, false self (perceived as presence) of the Narcissist.
3m48

He is married to absence … gradually he identifies with the absence, and merges with the absence..

Fryek

Deef

I like listening Vaknin… it allows me to think back (or maybe even think of current times) when I suffer(ed) from these things… I have a lot of these impulses in me still.. my childhood was sprinkled with these issues… (covert narc)… my parents both struggle with covert narc issues (not that they understand it as such)… i can relate to much of what he says… but i just don’t think I (mostly) act on these impulses anymore. They’re still there… the cloud my judgement… color my emotions… but I don’t think that I exude these traits anylonger.

Deef

Excerpt from Peter Limberg’s (organizer of The Stoa community)newsletter/journal - Jan 8th https://thestoa.substack.com/p/the-narrow-way

If you want to create a world of what Martin Buber calls “I-It relationships,” where we instrumentalize each other, especially in a way that creates a “war of the sexes,” then for men’s part, watching modern porn is a great practice for this.

Byung-Chul Han—my favorite philosopher at the moment—is probably the philosopher that is best tracking the symptoms of Empire, or to use Jack Donovan’s phrase, The Empire of Nothing.
Han writes about the pornographication of society, and how the exhibitive nature of porn destroys the erotic, which requires mystery:

Indeed, exhibition destroys any and all possibilities for erotic communication. A naked face without mystery or expression—reduced simply to being on display—is obscene and pornographic.
Capitalism is aggravating the pornographication of society by making everything a commodity and putting it on display.
…
What is pornographic is precisely the lack of contact and encounter with the Other. Instead, auto-erotic contact and auto-affection protect the ego from being touched or seized by the Other.
Consequently, pornography intensifies narcissification.

In essence, porn, and our pornified anti-culture, works against the sacred, and if my working theory is correct, what is sacred is what brings us together, truly together. What brings us together is not the smooth naked fuck bodies, on display with an instrumentalized knowingness.
A mystery is needed, with the recognition that we are a mystery to even ourselves.

This is the basis of communitas. We will need to start creating lifeworks to engage in “communitas crafting,” and remove deathworks from our lives, or at least attempt to repurpose them in clever ways. I suspect the way back to the sacred, and back to communitas, will be a narrow one.

Social media and digital communication creates this sorta avatar type persona/mask, framing this as porn is pretty fascinating… that might be why we’re in this endless scroll feeling of blue balls, lots of stimulation, teasing.. but never get the full encounter.. climax.. resolution.. satisfaction… ending.. done..

Fryek

you seem to have an affinity for the colloquialism of “blue balls” Deef… i enjoy the “shock factor” of your use of the term… but i wonder if the shock factor distracts from what you mean - it’s a reference that is truly tied to male-ness… yes women can experience it, but the fact that it references anatomy that they don’t have requires a certain kind of imagination that many people do not have… it’s a rare woman (for e.g.) who can forcefully and honestly say the phrase “suck my dick” even though we all know what they mean (even w/o a dick)."

Deef

Fryek

i wonder if the shock factor distracts from what you mean - it’s a reference that is truly tied to male-ness…

Technically that’s a true point… but digital communication sorta incentivizes shock factor, or if you don’t shock, scream, or shout, you’re invisible on social media…

However I sense there might be a deeper thread here, with references to porn, blue balls, sex, etc… Modern society has lost touch with erotic intelligence, of which Esther Perel has written about and popularized. We’re so addicted to the sense of certainty, we have limited space for allowing mystery and the ‘ineffable’.

Or more simply put, things that can’t be put into words or pictures. Some experiences can’t be grasped symbolically or mentally. As we lose space for those intangibles, and just keep binge feeding ourselves virtual representations of direct experience, that’s the pornification of life.

Society of the spectacle is an earlier pointer that Grannon’s referenced before… the guy who wrote The medium is the message also saw this coming,

We’re all touting the benefits of the Information Age, but this mass exposure and consumption to symbolic representations, raw data, and excess exposure to large groups of atomized followers. That might be a concern that needs to be addressed. Maybe it’s the algorithms directly attacking and taking apart, what it means to be human.

Deef

Stumbled upon this clip while scrolling to decompress last night. So hard to do a full hard stop on scrolling, especially when scrolling is part of maintaining online presence (email, meetup group, this forum, youtube channel, keeping up with society, calendar, etc.)

I played this at like 1.5x or 2x speed, mostly I was fascinated at the pacing of all the texts back and forth, facetime calls, etc.. It offered me a glimpse of first person mindset of younger generation. I’m sure there’s other videos that offer a broader glance of what normal smart phone usage might be like for those kiddies addicted to tik-tok, instagram, facebook, youtube, or what not…

This endless interaction and keeping up (FOMO & YOLO), might create an absence of boredom and downtime. Weakening the muscle for reflection, contemplation, loneliness, etc.
16m41s

Fryek

Or maybe a cigar is just a cigar?

Deef

Ok… most likely I’m just seeing stuff..
I will try to limit my use of ‘shocking’ metaphors, especially when it can exclude a particular gender.
Apologies for my wild imagination.

Fryek

dude seriously? hope you’re just apologizing to the ether here… and not me… me, I enjoy it.. it’s amusing… was just pointing out that it may have an unintended consequence - but maybe you shouldn’t give a shit who knows? I am an enabler of stupid overly sensitive shit… so i can tell you it will trigger… but as to whether you care? you decide that!

no apology necessary for me.

Deef

It ended up being a nice trigger practice for me.
My last reply ended as agree and amplify but that wasn’t my first reaction.

My earlier oversight was following your reframe which was more a redirect (red herring). Still gotta figure out how to better deflect, redirect or combine as a response. I also have that initial dig in reaction.

(Is this framing a type of meta? Or it also feels like a post modern tactic too.)

Fryek

Deef It ended up being a nice trigger practice for me.
My last reply ended as agree and amplify but that wasn’t my first reaction.

My earlier oversight was following your reframe which was more a redirect (red herring). Still gotta figure out how to better deflect, redirect or combine as a response. I also have that initial dig in reaction.

(Is this framing a type of meta? Or it also feels like a post modern tactic too.)

i didn’t even perceive a “dig”… oh, wait, you meant “dig in” - like become entrenched and/or defensive… but, explain how my comment a red herring/redirect? (honestly just curious… not really following… you intellectualize so much and i try so hard not to go to that place where i intellectualize too much - for me it spells paranoia when i do that)

no tactics involved here… just pointing out a possible oversight… you’re ostensibly trying to get a message out and if by using certain mannerisms/colloquialisms you are getting in the way for some… then you might consider this… but I’m acknowledging that I, myself am overly sensitive to triggering people and when i do it… it is FULLY intentional and with real-time awareness and calculation of how it will land. So I was just offering it as a perspective with the understanding that it’s possibly a flawed perspective.

kk?