The thread continues for public consumption, opinions and feedback… What does the crowd think that happened?? I’ll put my words, behaviors, arguments at the mercy of the public.
Somehow I’m reminded of the first post in the RG thread of which I still think is a classic:
RG: here’s what codependency is in a nutshell:
it’s a neurotic drive to serve based on a terror of negative emotions.
not choice, not lifestyle, not religious practice, not spiritual practice, We are driven, we have no choice, no freedom.
You’re slaves, I’m a slave, codependency keeps us enslaved, this is codependency ladies and gentlemen.
so you are probably terrified of guilt, so you ramp up the pity for your partner, to avoid the feelings of guilt,
and core excerpt from that talk:
So…. if codependency is a neurotic drive to serve based on terror of negative emotions.
I’d argue that counterdependency is a neurotic drive to demand based on terror of negative emotions.
Both are similar as life circles around negative emotions… but if behavior patterns is more about demanding from others, instead of people pleasing serving others… then it’s more counter-dependence…
Congrats to harsh boundary setters out there. You’re no longer co-dependent… You can sorta say you’ve healed… because you are no longer serving….
but.. healing from counter-dependence… that’s different territory… not sure if I can help people grow out of that…
Countering others with externalized critic and projections, that works in society.. that gives one feelings having power over others or the world.. that’s a good counter-balance to terror of negative emotions…
Who in their right mind, would give up dominating countering strategies, and willingly allow negative emotions in their world? When they’re so damn good at displacing it externally, disowning and dumping it onto others, or even getting others to act out their negative emotions.. That strategy works… it might a bit isolating, lonely and depressing at times but then you just need to find some new fresh blood to project onto..