Richard Grannon Admin
Day 15 5 hours ago
I wrote this last night but thought Id let it cool for 24 hours.
In reference to the “highest good of all concerned” exercise:
Sometimes the trick is to wonder what the exercise is an anti dote for.
What disease is it seeking to remedy?
For example I give you an exercise which forces you to state:
“Why is it ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY and good for me to put myself first”?
Well aren’t we running an unconscious rule that says “its absolutely necessary for me to put myself last”?
OR/AND:
“How is it for the Highest Good Of All Concerned that I put myself first?”
You think: how the hell do I know what the “highest good of all concerned” is? Ok, but….
Aren’t you running an unconscious rule that presumes “me being an utter doormat” is the for “the highest good of all concerned”?
We are here attempting to dismantle the pseudo religious, supposedly sacrosanct unconscious beliefs that keep us in codependency.
And YES they ARE pseudo religious and childish and full of magical thinking and when we pull them into the light, its rather cringe-inducing.
Now do we consciously think we know what the “highest good of all concerned” is?
No, but we act as though we do when we hamstring others ability to handle their own problems by picking those problems up for them before they even realise the problems exist. Or when we literally demand that we be the last in line. For everything. Always.
This is why I code dumb absolutism (always/never/must etc) into the exercises: its to cure the disease.
The absolutism is how we are already operating!
So because we act as though we know whats best for everyone (us being the sacrificial goat) so we must presume we have made that decision about whats best for everyone unconsciously.
So its OF NO USE saying we have no idea what the “highest good of all concerned” is when, as a codependent, we make that EXACT determination in every single action we take every single day and smother others will with our preemptive self sacrifice and self negation.
Yes, even in an all knowing and Grandiose manner when we de-facto presume that our total martyrdom and sacrifice is for “the highest good of all concerned”.
Thinking we MUST be the last and the greatest sacrifice at ALL times to bring salvation to others is a bit grandiose and silly isnt it?
We are just people after all are we not?
So turn this silliness on its head.
Most, not all, of the exercises I designed for this course do 2 things:
Allow you to see the problem in stark reality for yourself
(its critical for a course on codependency that I dont spoon feed you, you must pick up the spoon, otherwise we will create another bloody cult).
Offer an opportunity to recondition the unconscious to operate in new ways that are frequently the opposite of what we are currently doing.
To use a Yoga metaphor: If I ask you to lean hard left, it might be because youve been leaning right for a LONG time and I really want you somewhere in the middle.
I hope this makes sense.
The exercises are not designed to be difficult to simply be gratuitously difficult.
But overcoming lifelong patterns of unconscious behaviour simply is hard.
Thats a fact.
These exercises are the most direct way I know to guide you to helping yourself to do that.
