Today I feel ashamed of myself. I’m trying to work out what happened. The press release triggered a massive screaming fight between Keith and I.
I was frustrated about something, then something made me panic, I saw a yellow button on the press release that said “in progress” which I thought to mean that the document was being published - without approval.
I flipped out and asked Keith how he navigated to the screen with the yellow marker. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t find how he got there. Now I’m flapping around urgently trying to find the page with the “in progress” (assumed being syndicated) and he’s sitting infront of his Mac, unable to navigate (his usual) and telling me to calm down instead of following my finger pointing to explore where I found the link…
He then attacks me for gesturing. I take that for what it is. He tells me I’m crazy. I take that for what it is. And I am furious.
I did not see how he navigated from the edit page, to the summary page with the yellow “in progress” flag.
So I snapped at him directly:
“DID YOU HIT THE PUBLISH BUTTON NEXT TO THE PINK BUTTON ON THE PREVIOUS PAGE?”
To which he responded with here I go again, always my fault, blah blah and he lost his shit this time like a screaming baby. Saying I accused him of publishing the article. Which I was not. But yes my tone was urgent and I wanted an answer to how we got to the summary screen.
Keith continued to scream and yell like a baby. Claiming victimhood and I am the crazy one. So I snapped SHUT UP!
Which escalated the fight even more. He walked away and I took over the Mac, TRYING to find the edit screen.
But I can’t navigate his Mac. And Keith was pissed and screaming at me to leave his computer alone.
So fuck it. I went to my own computer and opened up the edit screen on there. Found it. “In progress” on the press release site means that we are in the authorization phase, - but I did not know that.
So, my legitimate panic, and Keith’s obstinate “I’m always the one to blame wahhhh wahhh” was a stand off and I will not forgive him or give an inch. He is sick of yelling matches. So he better figure it out. Next time I will trash his fuckimg desk.
I am still that fucking pissed. The arguments between us are getting worse. The bunnies are acting strange now because they sense the hate in the room.
Keith is stressed about money. And I have too much to do. Alone. Without help. I’m behind. I need to email all the customers and let them know. But I don’t even have the time and Keith dissappointed me yesterday when he said he would do emails from like two weeks ago. And fucking started yesterday one by one instead of using the mass emailing system.
Which I have set up, but haven’t built the first broadcast yet. Let alone figure out link obfuscation.
I am severly angry inside. And Keith is just getting in the way and being an absolute DRAG.
I had a phonecall from the doctor today. I have an appointment tomorrow but they are charging me $300 for the consult as the physician doesn’t accept insurance. So Keith got back home from an errand and I told him, then Keith told me to cancel the appointment. So I did.
Then he stormed out of the room and came back about half an hour later and asked me what I want to do. I don’t know? I just need to see a specialist. So he asked me how are my symptoms. I said I poo like a snickers bar, all colours like peanuts and caramel in my poop everyday. But it’s fatty bits and mucous. And blood occasionally. And I still can’t poop right. It’s gotten much worse since a year ago. Maybe better in the last two weeks because of fasting… but yeh still snickers poop. And pencil thin. Or flat cookies that I have to digitally pick out my butt because the lump in my rectum is like a golf ball, and I need a rectal exam asap to tell me what the fuck it is I can feel from both sides of my vag and rectum…
Then Keith said: call them and keep the appointment. So I did. I left a second message telling them to disregard the first and keep my appointment I’ve been waiting for over a month to see because of the Covid backlog.
Keith said WHY DIDNT YOU SAY ANYTHING ABOUT YOUR POOP TO THE DOC. I said I did, and he argued with me. I said;
I told the doc I urgently need to get this lump seen to as it’s affecting me daily I can’t poop! And he didn’t take it as urgent. So what can I do?
Well does it hurt? Not then but it does now.
When did it start? Maybe Feb last year?
When did it become consistent? Maybe from July last year?
When did it become every day and unimaginably weird? Hmmm maybe September?
So you’ve been keeping this from me for A YEAR
I didn’t think it hurt. I thought it was a bit weird. But it’s just annoying and difficult now everyday.
WELL PEOPLE DIE EVERY DAY FROM SHIT THAT GOES UNCHECKED.
I told you and the doc, everything I thought was valid. It has been slowly getting worse and more urgent but no one has taken me seriously. And with that I got fed up. And left.
So Keith whines that he is always to blame.
And I always think I have done something wrong - like not diagnose myself because that’s the doctors job to take me seriously. So I’m still fuming and pissed right now. One second Keith is bitching about doctors costs. Next he’s telling me to cancel. Disregard. Keep appointments. And I’m the fucking yoyo in between.
I really do not know how to change my behavior to deflect this asshole.
Other than maybe, not give him any access to any of the marketing material at all. Because he can’t be trusted. I wouldn’t have asked him about hitting the publish button if I could trust him infront a computer. But I can’t, as he has proficiently demonstrated his incompetence and typing in passwords, locking himself out, blaming their software, when he never looks at what he’s typing and IS ACTUALLY THE ONE TO BLAME for constantly getting locked out of bank accounts, emails, servers, google services, gmail, yahoo. You name it. Every day there is some fuck up he does on the computer and he is the first to complain about technology being badly designed - when in actual fact he is just a fuck up.
If I can’t log in, I question what I did wrong. I hit the eye button to make sure I’m typing correctly. I use cookies. And before I get locked out, I will send the verification to my phone etc.
But not Keith. He complains the touchpad on his Mac is badly designed when he clicks and deletes something. He complains that “their system isn’t working” when the screen won’t load - because he hasn’t properly clicked on the new tab, or the internet is down. But yeh it’s THEIR SYSTEM. Not his correct intentioned digits and misinterpretation of navigation.
I’m pissed and I’m going to sleep now.
Oh fuck yeh burned my motor out in the rotocaster. Can’t fix it because I bought a new brute worm gear motor, but it needs a mounting plate. Fuck! So I ordered that today. All this shit I gotta do. I just wanna spend every hour downstairs now fuck keith and his tiresome screen fucking. I don’t think I’ll sit with him anymore as it’s fucking stressful watching him fuck up and complain.