Deef taming and pacifying your inner critic
By fostering the inner critic i did not say to pacify it. Fostering is not taming.
The inner critic need to be grounded in the now, and get a better perspective to stop echoing abuse from ancient times.
A bad inner critic is a powerful fueler of codependent behaviour. Shame for not giving people what they “need” all the time. Shame for not being what “they” expect.
I want a horse. It costs only $20′000.
(You have so much money. You can earn more in the future. We can wait with renovating the house. The roof may still hold for a couple years. You don’t want to be mean to her. Huh? Are you mean? You say that you are so easy with people in need. Are you really? You said you would do anything for her. LIAR. Oh, you remember how you felt the last time you where mean and withheld money. That rightful lump in your stomach. Remember how happy she got when you finally gave her that Porsche. Yes, she sold it right after, but that was because you didn’t build that garage).
Now, who’s voice is that? Not mine. Time for some fostering. 🙂
Deef I flipped the persecutor energy into a protector part
Channeling into anger. Powerful tactic.
Exit freeze. Enter fight.
Deef reconnecting my ‘inner rebel’
That is “Standing your ground. A line in the sand. Changing the battle”.
Allowing yourself to be the rebel is setting a boundary.
Deef I have a right to have feelings and express them. I have a right to be selfish. I deserve to be here.
That is a very good moral philosophy.
Deef I did use discipline, but not to reprogram inner critic….
Stating a discipline is setting boundaries based on acknowledging self worth.
Deef Then people would just say… set stronger boundaries and just leave…. that’s a losers strategy…. you’re by default just leaving the ring, ceding territory, giving up…
Well. Do i need to be in the loosing battle? What is the probable outcome? What is the cost?
What happens if i just step out of the ring?
Letting the aggressors fall on their faces, own their own behaviour, and annihilate themselves may be a quick way to win a battle. Then, when the right time comes, i can go back into the now empty ring as the survivor. The winner.
There is bigger shame in certain loss in an unnecessary conflict, than to leave it, and wait for the right momentum.
Why stay for a certain demise, instead of changing the turf and find new possibilities?
Avoid futile battles. Wait. Prepare. At the right time, Act!
Wu Wei is a strong tactic.
Not cowardness. Rather machiavellian.