Fryek she’ll drag you both down
Lol… she backed off… this is probably how a BPD retreats… they don’t know how to apologize… MAYBE if I could amplify abandonment threats, she might yield a little more… but that reply was a win with a BPD in my book..
It also disarmed the suicide threat theory or mass danger/threat going toe to toe with a BPD… If you just stay with raw emotions, and hold the intensity… they back down… that’s their limitation.. that’s what gets their attention..
If you parse out the emotional tone of her response, it’s all feeble attempts to soften and goad me into lightening up, easing off… lowering the intensity…. lots of silly bubblegum like humor, jabs, and then injunctions of chill, ease off, lower the volume, ergo lower the emotional intensity, lower the emotional freak out…
If I was interacting with in a medium where I’d have her more trapped… I’d take that message as to keep the intensity up, and maybe pour a bit more gasoline… maybe shift spotlight onto me a bit… the get her drowning even more… then maybe after 3 cries for mercy, I’d back off….
This might be the BPD’s version of power play.. it’s not about a win/lose framing… it’s more about emotional smothering vs a controlled steady escalating and precise emotional explosion….
If I had NPD skills, I could just totally ignore her pleas and framing.. and just throw relentless blame attacks, for pure hierarchical dominance… I’m totally right, and you’re worthless trash, and you should’ve thanked me for all that I’ve already done for you… HOW DARE you…. in a machine gun like format…
with the BPD medium.. I saw an email/text from a narcissist with that sort of energy.. which made her break down and cry to her mommy…. and much later a half-sister did a shorter variation on the phone call, which triggered a holiday tantrum where she held her whole family as emotional hostage, to keep the half-sister from visiting…
then when parents caved to the demands, she was shocked and continued the tantrum and ran off….
BPD’s have major weaknesses… I haven’t yet fully figured out how to fully exploit it. but the back and forth with Intuitive Mode got me significantly closer!