Newbie I mean having no problems being social etc in person but then online just…not.
I am highly skeptical that you’re socially effective in person, possibly you’re adequate. It’s just people in person don’t tell you what how much of a chore it is to try to build a bridge with you.
It’s just that online your blindspots get exposed and exaggerated a whole lot more.
Simply put, you spend way too much time explaining yourself, which in the process totally blocks and rejects other’s feedback but also other’s attempts to try to build a bridge. This can come across as exhausting to me and others, and you also lace your communication with anxiety dumping. People generally don’t have much tolerance for anxiety dumping.
This visual illustrates a giant brick wall of noise from our interactions. You don’t show any of your cards, but you fucking expect me and others to accept your personal interpretations at face value.
You’re sort of breaking basic rules of communication. You suck at listening, but not just that, it seems like you’re actively distorting what you’re reading. And that might be triggering internal emotional flashbacks. But those flashbacks are in your head and past, and others have no clue what the context is or why you’re talking from that flashback. So that makes it highly confusing.
Also people who are trying to build a bridge with you, sending information with intended meaning. They feel unheard and invisible when your feedback shows total lack of comprehension of other’s meaning. And it’s another invisible hit when your feedback reflects back personal apologies and explanations, of which you offer no coherent story to incentivize us to care or be entertained by your gigantic change in sandbox topic.
