Newbie I know you guys said this is “safe” here
The word safe tends to grate at my nerves…. The ideal for my groups is that they’re real, open and try to be fair…. if you want to use safe I’ll budge with safe enough… as my reframe.
A sense of safety comes from your instincts, not from an external guarantee.
Reading through your posts, and feeling the vibe off of them. I’m guessing that your issue might be opposite what you’re thinking. It’s that you’re too self-centered, which ends up being counter productive, as you’re transmitting your anxiety and other related emotions onto others. Which ends up contributing to harsh behaviors and social sanctions by others. Your challenges with reading the room and others, is sending non-verbal signals of distrust to other people.
This is a visual I’ve used in past meetings, that describes what I’m sensing… (purely a guess)
I suppose the way out of excess self-centered looping is to take action and get into a process or flow outside of yourself. Beyond yourself, greater than yourself, not related to yourself. Give yourself a break from yourself.
Also there are social skills to blend in, and become invisible to others. That’s a primary strategy of mine when interacting in new social environments. Learn the new environment first, adjust to it, and then start sharing some of my differences, and see how it lands. Then adjust and adapt accordingly.