I think it’s timely to try to remember that Newbie is physically capable of owning her issues in short fleeting moments of humanity….
her last post in here on Dec 6th..
Newbie I just wanted to apologize for acting like a horrendous bitch. My heads been fkd sideways this year and it’s not anyones fault and I’m sorry I took it out on any of you.
Apparently she forgot this realization during the recent YT back and forth… and I also forgot about it too…
But let’s not forget the energy behind most of her sugary surface earlier nonsense… from Dec 3rd
Newbie thank you for not being a complete Goddamn limp dick asshole for no reason on a mission to destroy someone’s soul just to see if you can ♥️
Maybe the holidays were especially tough for a counter-dependent… so having me as a scapegoat and whipping target to blast her aggression…. gave her an escape from the depressive inner chaos of past holiday memories?
Onnaloves that’s weird I only just got the notification for your reply from like 3rd November. I don’t even remember what we were talking about.
I restored prior deleted messages by Newbie, to get a full archive of her posts… that’s why the notification came up just now…. Newbie self deleted some posts, so that shows some level of self-editing or self-awareness… likely she deleted some posts because they felt too vulnerable to her???
Onnaloves I don’t want someone to listen. I want someone to challenge my thinking patterns, identify my goto thinking patterns, offer me alternatives and dig as to what may have caused them and offer ideas to persevere and experiment with new ways of thinking.
Great tips and summary….. love the personal touch..
Onnaloves To be honest I really believe I was the cause of a lot of my own discomfort. And I’m working with that now. I’m sorta convinced I’m a bit - dis-empathetic with people. And look down on people a lot. Which isn’t great for my aging future. So I am working on that.
I think a blindspot of psychology is the founders were neurotic and assumed everyone else was the same… The idea of people who have the opposite problem… anti-neurotic??
Neuroticism … is sometimes defined as a tendency for quick arousal when stimulated and slow relaxation from arousal, especially with regard to negative emotional arousal.
So… possible counter-dependents have fast relaxation from arousal… Countering is way faster than co-addict strategies… and listening, validating, comforting, soothing, etc… all of that would be effective for people who have slow relaxation from negative arousal (emotional flashbacks)…
The upside of that slow decline is the neurotic can be obsessive with self-reflection .. and that can lead to anxiety…
But it’s vice versa with fast decline… a counter-dependent is defense is so fast, there’s no time for self-reflection… so no issues with anxiety, but then there’s surprise that other’s get pissed off at them, and they’re oblivious on how to make sense of it…
Onnaloves Maybe I did enjoy him wincing and crying a bit.
This is another upside for counterdependent… or opposite-neurotic response…. it’s somewhat fun… or is really pleasurable to inflict leverage upon others…. offers a sadistic high?? power trip?
Why would someone give up a lifelong pattern of power trip dominance highs…. and willingly open up to being a plain human being… a mere mortal… vulnerable, exposed.. open… seen as limited…. exposing one’s weakness… sharing one’s shame and embarrassment….
That might seem utterly disgusting to a counter-dependent…