I watched the video about self respect, respect, esteem etc..
Yet again I feel confused.
There is this lady that says look at your childhood and see where you had remarkable skills.
She is pointing at a young age….
There is an example given about a person who did develop high artistic skills…
So he can derive his worth, prestige etc..from those skills.
Later on a video is shown about how children fail to spell properly and that it was told that they had to give shall I call it
positive feedback anyway.
And here is where I get confused.
The artistic person doesn’t derive his worth from being good at spelling words. He developed his artistic skills probably before he learned to write.
I now artists who can’t spell properly. I can’t spell properly. Today the spelling check on computers is what keeps it at bay.
I certainly never ever got positive feedback for not being capable to spell. At least not in languages where the european alphabet is used.
I was shamed for it…
I was good at math…yet the weigh of to spell correct was so high that year after year I found that I would never get access to study what I really loved. Up till today if I read anything on the topic of biology as really get it at once. I don’t have to read it ten times to remember what it was again…
But no way that one could go to high school or university to study Biology if you couldn’t spell 100% correct.
Back in those days there were no spelling checkers on pc laptop etc…like today.
So I had to go for other kind of studies and jobs where they consider spelling less important.
Read low payed jobs mainly jobs where your hands get dirty.
So the example of spelling really hurts…triggers an old wound.
“You are not worthy because you can’t spell”. That is the message that was given me. And do you think that this message ever helped me to become better at spelling? Nope.
It only helped me to feel “unworthy”.
I accomplished other things of course…But for some reason all those other things that I have accomplished were never enough to restore my self worth.
Because just like in your video up till today spelling is used to rule out who is worthy or who isn’t…even when we have spelling checkers today.
It makes me feel sad.
Cause when we have to look at remarkable skills that we had when we were 5….spelling was not one of them…..
To focus more on spelling than on content….is probably the best way to forget all of those remarkable skills. All your energy is wasted years into trying to spell correctly.
Oooh I still feel this frustration…I feel the pain on my chest.
My youngest sister did do it very well when it came to spelling.
She went to university and got her degree in German Philology.
And there was a moment when she said to me “let it go this suffering and obsessing with spelling”. Those who can spell actually only prove that they are better at conform with rules where there is no logic to be found.
Which is in some cases very dangerous if people are good at it…at conforming to rules where there is no logic and even a lot contradiction and exceptions…..
She has her degree…but guess what.
To her it doesn’t feels an accomplishment that boosts her self esteem…..
So that it is why all those things confuse me even more.
If the example is about spelling….it isn’t about what we were good at when were five? Right?
People have to be pushed down when they don’t spell well right?