No video response yet, but a written comment by Grannon!!
Richard G 2 hours ago
āWhen codependents get nastyā a new show by HBO.
Wait a second I thought we were the āgoodā ones? šš
So thereās at least 2 layers to this I can see immediately :
- The diagnosis of BPD is in my view the least legitimate in the cluster B spectrum and desperately needs updating.
āHow can clinicians so easily conflate C-PTSD with BPD if itās a discrete, distinct clear diagnosis?ā
Has been my question for a couple of years. Iāll do a video on this one.
Iād put more blame on C-PTSD as a junk and confusing diagnosis, which wasnāt in the DSM-IV, oh.. and also is still NOT in the DSM-Vā¦ but it is in the ICD (International Classification of Diseases).. The origins of Complex PTSD is very fuzzy and has too many origins in BPDās who are simply trying to change labels to soften the stigma, and also create an environmental origin story, where BPD neuroscience brain scans points towards internal genetic origins.
After Mark Dassoulas visit, he still thinks and reacts like a BPD, though with heavy tint towards grandiose boastful flavor. But his core wounds and neediness was primo BPD.
Grannon has this thing about BPD, which might be from his childhood merging with BPD in his environment plus trauma and sexual abuse. Which meshes well with C-PTSD theory. But full in-born BPDs are at a different level, in my observation and past interactions.
If a person is emotionally infantile (regressed? Non-adult?), emotionally desregulated, living with next to no discipline or purpose and incapable of asking/acting directly for what they want: a big boil of resentment swells up. That boil is painful to the touch and leads to prickliness, bitterness, defensiveness, ideas of reference (you will see/feel narcissism here) and paranoia.
Reaction formations and shadow possession abound, as that which is disavowed builds and builds.
The poor individual grows wretched under the burden of carrying this boil about.
They seem odd, eccentric but not in a fun/charming way (maybe sometimes); but more in a āI better walk on egg shellsā way.
The resentment when triggered by a perceived slight becomes punitive. They hold grudges, and pursue vendettas over petty things. All of this leaves the outsider thinking āis this BPD? Vulnerable narcissism?ā.
But ā¦ what else can they do?
- They canāt reason effectively,
- they canāt negotiate with themselves,
- they canāt think critically,
- they canāt ask for what they want and
- they canāt be direct.
If they are taught to be authentic, to be disciplined and purposeful, to tell the truth they will bite and scratch the helping hand in a panic š
The embittered codependent creates ācompassion exhaustionā just like we are told BPDs will.
Butā¦ if you donāt accept the āunconscious reactionā, are infinitely patient, keep pushing towards authenticity, the boil will break (painfully, messily) they may hate you for it.
And then they go back to zero and can grow from the ground up.
It is hard, but necessary and the rewards are ā¦ well, everything.
Bitterness & resentment ā is this the core wound of codependents? And is this a sign of energetic cord with the abuser, taking on their pain and abuse attack strategies??
Pretty good framing, but then that leads to a solution of breaking that boil (corrective emotional experience). Does it need to be that aggressive? Could there be a side way in? Or ice it down to numb it? or warm water compress first?