I did it! I LAUNCHED!! Nüwa Medusa website is officially up and running.
Still need to do a bit more on it, but. Thank fuck it’s up!
And I’m just in bed right now at 1:30 am, usual knock out time. Relieved. Fingers crossed. Anticipation. Fear? Dissappointment. Ugh. This has been so hard.
I feel every drop of my energy is sapped.
And I deserve a good sleep and beautiful dreams. So funny to me how the episodic of my dreams becomes so symbolic, everywhere. All things I’ve seen or absorbed at some point or other, are recognizable sensations in these dreams.
I figure my mind is working hard to pull together imagery to describe to me visually how I’ve been feeling. And there is so much, that the dreams take this weird shape, of a whole new world inside me.
Like the other end of the wormhole.
Oh boy, there is a sensation next to my right ear that has been bugging me for two days, it is particularly uncomfortable like a big bug in my head. Perhaps it is, the bug feels more like a moth, vibrating it’s wings in short bursts. And I don’t like it. The sensation is on the right side in the temporal region of my brain, it’s related to my time and emotion sensing, but I do not know what this sensation is. I have never ever felt it before.
Other sensations yes, but this, is new to me which makes me uncomfortable. New things, like completely alien new, are troublesome things.
When I think about the different places around the world where I worked and lived, there was a spirit with me, of awesome revelation that no matter where I stayed I knew the advantages of that country - and the disadvantages immediately.
That’s the cool thing about not just touristing or travelling. But actually living a completely different life how many times does one normally get to do this? Most people, probably 99% live, work, and die in the same state or country, in the same district or town or region, for their entire lives.
For me, this has always been out of the question. From a young age I met ambassadors from different countries. Members of parliament. Cough royalty or lordships from different countries. Mainly because of my mother dragging me around to these places, but also because I was so familiar, that I didn’t think to question if I didn’t belong.
The ambassadors were there after all to serve us. Various royalty I met later on, nothing really to speak of. Some Saudi Prince who was a fat disgusting man. He took over the whole floor of this hotel where I was designing the drapery for, and Prince was paying us for it. But yup you can guess what else he was after. I had to re-hang the entire floor with new drapery designed for his tastes, and he spared no expense just volumes of gold velvet and tassels and swags and drapes that were all so heavy to hang. One job, 3 months work maybe? And about 300 curtains.
Then when I worked at the film studios, I can’t remember this Princes name either, he took a liking to me and followed me on FB, I think he was another Saudi Prince, but he was actually on the run from his family.
So, I’ve worked in almost every level, and very different forms of culture in different parts of the world, and it has taught me a great amount of respect for the diversity of culture and people… and the health including mental health of their people.
I can assure you, the most insane place to live is the United States. Everywhere else in the world is a huge tonne of respect compared to here. I’m not complaining, but if people knew how DIFFERENT things can be if they had the balls to just drop shit and leave for a couple of years. Fuck it’s mind-changing.
And now all I dream about is visiting different worlds, almost like I’m getting the bug to work or build something elsewhere from scratch. Maybe take Nüwa Medusa out of the states?
It’s weird thinking like this.
Anyway back to the dream from last night to prep tonight’s adventure…
Eagle and I flew over desert and over ice, Over sea and land of many clouds. As we flew the sun moved a figure of 8 in the sky, and then in the distance I saw a blue mountain…
The location of the lapis stone, was a brilliant blue city on the mountain. We landed, and eagle looked to the sky and said - every pendulum swing of the sun, is ten lunar months when we fly and to us it only feels like an hour. The mirror man escorting me on eagles back had not said a word until now:
I know this place he said; be careful mistress.
Why? Whatever for? HOW can you possibly know if you have never been here? Because, he said, I came from the stone of wisdom and truth, as a man, who knows the thinking of men before women. And the rock was not unaware of the others but had no means to bring man together, without woman.
So eagle was cleaning his wings and dusting off a bit.
Yes I thought we’d stop here outside the city first for an orientation. This city he said, is full of segregation. So you will not be welcomed here mistress, unless I make a bit of a show you see and change my feathers to the real me. But by the time we hop over there, another week will go by us in the air, and hopefully by then, my flaming light will be a beacon for your mother ship men to join us… and consolidate the power of your arrival?
Ok I didn’t know you had such a plan eagle! That’s brilliant wow!
Well I am a bit of a sneaky sneak he said, I know how to hide very well, and also how to make a big impression. And I am also a very good strategist as it so happens.
So eagle crouched down low and started dousing his brown wings in the desert dust and ruffling, making a giant dust devil as the dust was thrown off of him in the glaring heat of his transformation, he stopped and shrugged around a lot, shuddering his wings until slowly as the dust streamed off like glitter, his feathers grew and grew, his crown lifted up, the glistening of his feathers became like swords of light until the shudders became a shimmy down to his sprouting coiling long long tail like a peacock. And there he was a gleaming pheonix as large as a bus this time because of his huge tails.
Now, hop on he said. And by the way I’m not a he, I’m a she, but since nobody seems to hold much value in a female, I let people refer to me as he, it’s a power thing that gets to me so I like the he pronouns better either way. Uhmh hmm
So you’re saying you’re non-binary?
SHHH don’t say that shit. Just remember I have a thing about pretending I’m not a she ok? I mean, my voice sounds a bit of a drag Queen anyway and since no one asks I let them think I’m a he. Besides it will go down better if you have two symbols of strength at your side.
Are you insinuating-
SHHHHTP he said in his now apparent drag Queen tone. This city is a bit weird you’ll see.
So, we waited until night when the Guard and I climbed back onto eagles back who was now a pheonix in his true colours, we didn’t want his feathers to catch the light of day, and give away our plan.
So we waited until the moon was nearly full and quietly rose into the sky in slow spirals through the moonlit clouds that helped obscure our ascension from the land.
I’m clanging eyes shut so I’ll finish maybe in the morning.
