I have dropped the female lawyer in favor of changing counsel to someone who is more suited to consolidate the patent as well as the trademark.
This all stemmed from the weekend, when the lady lawyer called me at 8:00 am Saturday and left a voicemail in haste, that she was updating the trademark filing to correct the typo that she introduced, AND she added a sub listing for a medical Kegel device. Which I did not approve.
This angered me, that she had shown such sloppy work and worse, gone ahead without my consent to add to the filing a broader listing that did not describe the primary intent of my device.
I thought at first - ok, I can handle this, get her to remove it and allow me to pick a listing or use my own words… what followed next was a reluctance to correct her additional filing mistake as the number of submissions causes a red flag for the examiner.
So why the fuck did she do that without first confirming with me either way? AND for the first time she gave me the entire class 10 listing to comb through and pick listings of my own that were more relevant. However, there should have been a red flag before all of this.
I turned to her on Facebook because she was a friend of mine for 10 years, even though we never met, she has discussed doing business with keith as her main business is entertainment. So right off the bat I didn’t do my research and I thought I would help out a friend who infact is completely the wrong skill set. In addition, something fishy about having to over explain my device to her. Multiple times. Why?
When other women stepped forward and came up with a number of conditions this device could help with. I grew irritated with her. More and more irritated, until I finally got pissed with all this back and forth email bullshit.
I asked her to call me at her earliest convenience, she did later that night. And I literally yelled at her down the phone. I have spent $2k in lawyer fees and I do not expect to have to educate her nor repeat myself. She started coming at me and being highly disrespectful and innapropriate, so I slammed the conversation shut. She stayed quiet.
I was so angry that keith had to step in and calm things down. I really thought a female lawyer would be my advocate. But it’s like dumb is dumb and no amount of explaining was really getting through to her, that there ISNT a listing because there’s NO SUCH THING on the market. Not even close!
Not Kegel device, not cock ring buffer, not vaginal taper, stretcher, or hooks.
I mean what the fuck?! I gave her wording that I wanted and now I was done with her. So I searched for lawyers and spent the whole day Wednesday interviewing lawyers to change counsel. If they didn’t see the value of my device they were not my advocate as there is no way they can defend to the examiner the device needs it’s own listing as there is no overlap with anything on the market!
Jeezus fuck Christ I’m so angry at myself. I spoke to three lawyers yesterday - ALL who took a look at it, GOT IT. So there was nothing wrong with my explanation? And yes, they agreed with me it deserved its own listing, and it needed to be patented, which they could handle.
So today before I even got around to her firing. She sent me two further innapropriate emails, suggesting more stupid listings for sexual stimulation device and a depth control worn by a man for penetrative sex. I mean, COCK RINGS? I was livid.
I texted my chosen lawyer today and he’s drafting up the contract for the change of counsel AND he says wait until Monday because he has to do his due diligence and make sure this is technically within his realm. I was impressed, he feels like he wants me to have the best.
Or it could be a buffer or play, considering he knew I was pissed off and maybe that doesn’t leave a good vibe in the convo. Whatever. I am mad at myself for not knowing how to interview lawyers and get what I want. I just assumed a woman would get it. FUCK.
Yeh you know what? I could have made him very weary that I was just going to be a bitch client. Wait a sec, RAGE JULIANA has NEVER EXISTED BEFORE!!!
Holy cow! I have NEVER EVER ARTICULATED AN ARGUMENT AND VERBAL FIGHT ON THE FLY LIKE THIS. I have NEVER stood up for myself. But oh boy she pissed me off.
The final straw came to when she said the word “anaplasty” was innapropriate! And started to lecture me on the definition -
DON’T LECTURE ME ON CORRECT MEDICAL TERMINOLOGY! I know the difference between Ana- arthro- ortho- endo- plasties because I HAVE STUDIED YEARS OF ANATOMY AND ITS MEDICAL PATHOLOGY, just because you read ONE DICTIONARY online doesn’t trump WHAT I WANT. I WANT THE WORDING I WANT. Do it or I’ll find someone else!
Fuck man. I was paying her to educate her? What the fuck is this? And she was wasting my time on petty words instead of counsel, STRATEGY, and running around in haste making typos in her submissions.
So, yeh I’m mad. So now I have settled on two potential lawyers and have a really good feeling about one of them, that he knows this is a valuable device that needs protection. I didn’t even have to explain it to him. He saw the comments, he saw the device, I told him what it was -ONCE and then, he asked me how I wanted it classified.
I went on to explain technically I CANNOT CALL THIS A MEDICAL DEVICE, as there’s no system involved, and that implies I have regulated manufacturing process in accordance with ISO 9002. Furthermore, MEDICAL implys that this is recognized by the medical system and a go to prescribed SOLUTION to a problem. Which mine is not. It is only a work around, it doesn’t guarantee cures, it is therapeutic, just like physical therapists don’t have to be clinicians, and don’t provide a guarantee of healing.
So, this is a THERAPEUTIC DEVICE which still fits under class 10, but is not a Kegel toy, nor a cock ring, gaaaaahhhhh.
So you know what? He calmed me down and said:
I totally understand that you are so very passionate and have done all your research and preparation, now I must do my due diligence and search for anything on the market remotely similar before I take on your project.
He texted me today to say he’ll send a contract through. So I guess he wants it.
Jeez, I never knew I had it in me to be a force to deal blows with. I honestly have never done this nor gone on the offense and started displaying my dissatisfaction with such veracity.
Wow. Who am I?