I’m in the bath again. I’ve been destroyed today. Crashing mostly napping throughout the day.
i haven’t bothered to think why, I’m just taking the opportunity to rest since I feel no depression.
or maybe it is depression? I’ve been coughing at night. In actual fact I’ve had some weird sensations I have not written about… somethings wrong.
when did it start? About a week ago.
three days in a row after I passed a huge decidua, my guts slowed down and I had to manually decompact three days in a row.
then the dreams started again. And I just want them to go away. Yesterday I was clipping grass for my bunnies, and I know this must look odd.
i am lucky I go in the garden naked and squat. Sometimes the grass tickles my asshole. Aphids climb my legs. And a mosquito bit me on my pussy. So I was slapping my crotch then standing up to get away from the ground level swarm, and my pony tail would get stuck in my ass crack, so I’d yank it out and there would be one caught 3ft long hair tickling my knees so I would scoop it out front and it would dragging out through my bits.
like. Damn horse tails are useful. Except when you’re switching between squatting and standing and swatting my bits. I’m now black on my back and white on my front like a piebald hamster. So yesterday I decided to try and even out my front by baking my tits a bit. Maybe I’m sunburned. NO WAIT, it’s my blood. My skin is fine but I have a reaction to the sun that makes me deplete vitamin B. That’s what’s wiped me out so bad!
ok figured it out, but there was another funny thing. Yesterday in the garden, I discovered I could groom the grass with both hands at the same time. I was walking in a squat, using both hands to weed. Young weeds that had finished budding these buds get caught gently between the fingers and the young tap root slips out from the grass, airating it.
the bugs go crazy as their debris is churned so they have work to do, fertilising the grass and restoring it again. I love how the little things like this work together so symbiotically.
and the bunnies played with me outside. Keith came home and I was still outside naked, he laughed and looked around the lawn… DID YOU DO ALL THAT? I looked up and the lawn was blanketed with the debris that I weeded and left to dry. My bunnies scalping around eating pulled weeds instead of the grass around. Ugh. Little pigs. Go eat the grass you little shits or I’ll end up cleaning your poopy tails in the sink again. For eating dandelions until you shit yourselves.
so now I understand the sensations, I destroyed my vitamin B that helps me stay oxygenated, so… that’s why I’m getting hypoxic. I have weak blood. And a tendency to go into Ketosis to save increase energy when I go low oxygen.
ketosis gives me extreme visions as it’s a form of energy metabolism that has high Exotherm based on saturated double bonds burning rather than single bonds burning from carbohydrates.
but the problem with ketosis, is that for me it’s a back up energy source I easily switch into - but it makes my blood go acid, and I start depositing more sludge and calcium into my bile and lymph.
my last mammogram showed early calcinosis in my breast tissue. A lymphatic disorder of calcified lymph nodes. The doctors said nothing about it but I knew I had to stop it. So here’s how I know when I manage to stop it…
your saliva contains dissolved calcium, the rate at which your tartar forms depends on your calcination of the blood.
ao when I am in ketosis, I tend to develop faster tartar build up on my teeth. And this has been proven, when I visited the hygienist, I asked her if some people suffer with faster tartar build up. She said yes, it was actually black people in her experience, and she didn’t know why.
she admitted it was a very significant trait, and it wasn’t as far as she was aware diet affected, but something to do with the blood.
she also mentioned that those who suffered faster tartar build up on the teeth, also tended to have more heart conditions. Again this points to a precipitation from the blood. That eventually calcifies and hardens fatty deposits called ““cholesterol” in the blood.
but here’s where my heart is different… the tartar has no cholesterol to harden in my blood, because I consume fat much better than most. I have the ability to switch metabolism, which people can do, but I can do without 2 weeks of fasting.
it’s the fasting Trick many religions do to trigger ketosis, without knowing where it comes from. But I don’t need to do this.
the reason why my hygienist said they didn’t acknowledge such generalisations even though it is known in the dentistry field, is that such observations might be considered racist. So the observation of these characteristics and generalisations are not overtly published.
if I was smart I would probably find a study to back up my theories. For now though, I have just realized my metabolism is going through a switch and I have to help it or start the cycle again of calcinosis.
so I’m aware all these strange sensations are related to that. It’s no wonder that when people talk I pay attention to their mouths so much. The dryness, the shame of their teeth. It all shows the decline of their health, that they are actively denying. Everyone is in denial to some extent. It’s like looking at a horse and seeing how long it has to live. My worst dreams are the ones where my teeth fall out. Then I know I’ve not been taking good care of myself. I hate the teeth spitting dreams.
aince I see death so much it’s hard to ignore it, as my dreams will tell me if I’m denying it.