ok… I got her to back off… but she still ended with her own reframe.. and total lack of acknowledgement of her going too far… it’s like a non-win?? wtf… is this style of communication norm??
But the followup replies open ups why dating and male/female interactions are soo highly charged and difficult…
it almost feels like if men stand up for their needs and hurt feelings, women often automatically interpret that as a threat to their needs. Like there’s not enough space for both sides to feel human, vulnerable and limited together???
This might be a huge problem….. possibly one that might make insecure codependents more gullible to narcissistic or predatory love bombing and hoovering… as those are willing to create a false mask and pretend to never have any differences from you.. and cave to your every need…. BUT then when the mask falls off…. it can be traumatizing?
This comment by nectar is different…
The other part that gets left off - is a nice intro to a potential curve ball or some giant missed point…
I don’t agree that it’s left off, that’s just even more nuance, when the basic message is already super hard to talk about and for people to openly collectively make sense of…
But.. she could be offering a bridge by saying she can relate to masculine getting socially shunned..
the injunction & sloganeering.. (fuck, wtf do we always need to have an injunction, tip, prescription, fix??!)
Men or women need to find their toxicities and
- root them out
- love them and
- step outside of societies’ expectations
What does this mean?? how kind is this? how gentle and understanding is this directive??? ROOT IT out… go do a damn root canal on yourself… who’s gonna want to do that??
Love your exiled parts??? that’s another BIG FUCK NO people are gonna say..
Step outside of social expectations… that’s fucking terrifying… people like the idea of it, but who really can do that??
Maybe….. men and women just can’t talk to each other… and therapy and self-help has become dominated with women style communication norms…. there’s no space for men to be vulnerable, honest, raw…. so no space for men to discover themselves and heal… just lots of unspoken pressures to ‘man up’…. but wtf does that really mean? and how’s someone supposed to really do that?? especially once a man takes a stand that’s just slightly strong, they’ll get beaten to a pulp?
….. these are comments from other members behind the $25/month paywall…. it’s not that much better than regular youtube comments… possibly they’re even more linguistically skilled at more hidden types of coersion?