Newbie I just want to be more aware of myself I guess.
I have the social grace of a bull in a china shop sometimes.
Quite a confusing newbie that speaks in code… guessing that he/she is mindblind to autistic type of levels…
and likely too much self-centeredness…. along with total cluelessness of what the fuck is happening with other people and general society….
He/She likely needs to the do the opposite of all the injunctions and self-gaslighting going on…. needs to learn about others and also how he/she comes across to others… but people on the ASD spectrum are fucking annoying to work with, their blindspot can be huge…
Bradford As you show in the youtube comments, she jumps in, rescues and gaslights and it’s getting more intense and is often in direct opposition to you
I dunno, Holly has been pretty consistent with her blindpsot and styles of interjections…. though there is a slight intensity uptick recently.. but yah I think that she’s a bit nervous at not being able to keep up or follow what’s happening…
I think 2 meetings ago, she was arguing about RG’s video where he was talking about shared fantasy, but she heard him advocating self-fantasy?? and I countered in the meeting with half memory of his talk… later on Holly messaged me with time stamp and quote.. and then I looked it up after, and he spent most of his time on shared fantasy.. no where is he openly advocating self-fantasy….
of which that’s sort of Holly’s problem.. she hides in her own fantasy as a security blanket or safety place… but the price of self-fantasy… is delusion or psychosis…
then if she’s constantly hanging out in narcissist abuse meetup groups… it’s just this constant exposure to gaslighting, dissociation and delusions disconnected from reality….
But… maybe I’m getting a little closer to her core wound.. and now just gotta figure out how to precisely poke it to guide her.. or to get her to do an ugly break down….
…..
OH…. maybe it’s as simple as Holly’s main trigger…
when others are dating.. or having interactions with the other sex.. she gets triggered… from envy.. jealousy… or what not…
but it’s her own fucking fault.. her morals supposedly keep her from having male friends… BUT I think it’s more her lack of social skills to interact w/ masculine energy…