Today I’m in a weird positive excited mood. It’s three days I think since I got the results so it always takes me that long to process what I’m feeling. And I know now how I feel… opportunity. It’s weird.
The Chinese have a symbol for Cancer 癌 the symbol is a rock, metasticising into more rocks, until infinity. The Chinese attitude of cancer from ancient times is that it is a burden, like rocks that you must carry. Which is interesting to me, because that’s how I feel.
I wonder how often a doctor has to tell someone they have shitty pathology, and the statistical prognosis is also shitty, traumatizing the patient with no other way than thinking about the last shitty months of their life. People don’t cope well with that. I think it’s a shitty way to be informed. But I get it, I get the stupid Western thinking that doesn’t think holistically about the body. And diagnoses some whackamole in the body - seperate from their flow.
Of course then, if you do not think like this, then all you will do is play whackamole. And that never reaches the source of the turbulent flow.
Also, Westerners like to “put faith” believe in god, HOPE and all this shit which I think is DENIAL and not fixing the root flow pattern. If you put faith and “believe” you are in the best hands, that’s the kind of bullshit that keeps you in denial and not changing the attitude on life perspective that is the fulcrum of change of winds in the body.
Yes there is an element of belief, pure knowing that things are good. But to sit back and hope, is like relinquishing responsibility of your body to western statistics. You continue the flow of anxiety. The turbulence continues and even with treatment, it is fighting uphill against turbulent flow of fear.
What I am feeling is opportunity, to change my attitude, and live life the way we are meant to be. I do not care about statistical prognosis, I’m eager and curious to find ways of waking up in a way where I am excited to start the day.
Then prognosis does not matter. What matters more is the attitude to life.
Take Glia, the glue in the brain. For a long time Science didn’t know what it was, it was just a glue, a matrix for the brain. But, some glia become active, like spiders, they become excited and throw out dendrites, searching and tasting neurons for activity they can latch onto. Searching for energy leaks, to either plug it up, and become a new axon, reconnecting flow, or, if they taste a bad cell…
They retract their dendrites, turn into an amorphous immune cell, and consume the bad neuron in a safe decommissioning of apoptosis. Keeping the other neurons safe from the spillage of cell contents that are toxic to other cells.
What triggers the Glia to become curious and wander, is dopamine. Dopamine is necessary energy for making new connections, and it starts by exciting glia, until they spend the energy on a mission to protect, repair, or rebuild the brain. Then Estrogen comes in like the donut, over the temporary dendrites, and harden the dendrites into axons with a protective myelin sheath.
Estrogen, behaves like superglue. Dopamine behaves like excitation, and curiosity.
When you utilize dopamine, there are two random subtle concepts floating about in your expedierence or memory. These are subtle things that separately have individual meaning… but when curiosity is excited to reach between the two concepts and connect them, you feel a realization, a connection, an excitement for learning. Which means, estrogen will come in and cement the two concepts together at night.
This is associated learning, the method by which we have to create new physical brain cells.
The SAME happens in the rest of the body.
Two weeks ago, I was standing infront the mirror, staring and my disheveled hair, thinking it had bunny fur sticking out of it. I looked closer and saw a white hair. A WHITE HAIR?! Holy crap! My first white hair?!
I couldn’t tell, I’d never seen one before on my head, so I grabbed the tweezers and pulled it out to take a closer look… hmm this thing is wirey. So I started searching for more! And I saw a gleam of white and kept losing it, eventually I find it and pulled it out too. I looked closely and it was strange. This was a two year old hair, pretty young, that was dark along it’s length, then it turned WHITE, and then, about a month ago after three months of turning white, it reverted back to black.
Wow! What happened a month ago that my immune system switched on and said NOT YET to the white follicle. Well, it was my dopamine levels. Exactly one month ago, I went up to the highest dose of dopamine, I had a spark of life come back to me, and this white hair sitting on top of my head, funnily enough directly over the dopamine hormone center of the brain… repaired it’s melanocytes.
Bingo. The curiosity and reward structure of dopamine is the key to changing flow in the body.
My immune system has been asleep. And let this hungry greedy selfish cancer take over silently, stealing resources FROM ME. So now, I will excite my immune system with curiosity and activity, to go search for the rogue cells IN MY FATTY TISSUE. The problem with this type of cancer is that as it is hormone based, it travels through fatty boundaries. And then, rogue cells command angiogenesis and blood vessels to grow and steal from the fatty apron, energy reserves meant FOR ME.
Since these are not my blood vessels, I cannot feel them, but now I know where they are, I can excite the stem cells within the fatty tissue to go directly there. Most cancers are in the blood and travel via blood flow, and those even when metasticized are traceable. Fatty tumors are harder to track.
What stimulates fatty tissue to release stem cells? Ketosis. Adrenaline, excitement, training. The body uses this fatty reserve instead of carbs… but cancer is a hungry bastard and will suck up all the glucose in your blood and leave you feeling crappy. Ketosis however, if you sustain it in a targeted fashion, can envelope a cancer with fresh stem cells - the body’s version of Glia, from the emotional brain in the gut to transform into the immune cells needed to attack rogue selfish stealing cancer cells right there.
So. I will use my ketosis in a targeted way. To fight back against the sluggish flow that stole away my energy. I will use excitement to play again, and not sit back and relinquish to false positivity of hope. But play and enjoy again. Fuck this being too tired! I will start tonight!
